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collie_man · Apr 17, 2007, 11:49 AM

Me and my ex broke up about two months ago and know we are talking like we are friends again, like before we started dating. But now I can tell both of us want each other just not in a dating mode. So my question is how do I transition from ex to friends with benefits?

JoeCanada76 · Apr 22, 2007, 06:05 AM

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS, How can this be. Do you both want to date again? Or have a relationship again. Why would you call it friends with benefits?

I know what friends with benefits mean, but why would you do that with somebody you have history with?

Joe

shygrneyzs · Apr 22, 2007, 06:08 AM

Friends with benefits - just a term for a sex buddy. I would think you could pick someone else without all the trappings and history, if that is all you want is a bed partner.

sarxx7 · Apr 22, 2007, 06:16 AM

Would both of you be able to handle being friends with benefits? Knowing that at any time one of you can find another person and will have to be loyal to that person. Your sex buddy will be gone. That can cause some emotional attachment too, but I guess it depends on the person. Don't try it as a way to hold onto each other. If there is clearly no interest in dating, that needs to be said and it needs to be certain neither of you will be attached. The sex could be great, but the jealously and sadness could feel ten times worse than the good felt when you two had sex.

Matt3046 · Apr 22, 2007, 07:33 AM

What like health insurance? 410k?

Fr_Chuck · Apr 22, 2007, 10:14 AM

Yes, just tell them that you really don't care that much for them to be a boyfriend/girlfriend, but hey, lets just have sex anyway.

Romance in the air??

missk · Apr 22, 2007, 12:36 PM

This seems kind of strange to me. You two have a past together. One of you is going to have feelings for each other. Why don't you find someone else to have benefits with. Wow this is just really weird. I don't get it.

JoeCanada76 · Apr 22, 2007, 12:38 PM

Originally Posted by missk

This seems kinda strange to me. You two have a past together. One of you is going to have feelings for each other. Why don't you find someone else to have benefits with. Wow this is just really weird. I don't get it.

I am with you. I do not get it eighter. Not at all. Very strange indeed.

1badchoice · Apr 22, 2007, 02:43 PM

The problem is you've past up the stage where friends with benefits would work out. Like getting divorced then wanting to have casual dating relationship. Ultimately you cannot go backwards. Too many emotions, experiences, water under the bridge. I personally think your just setting yourself up to be hurt in some way. Maybe just trying to hang on to any little piece you can get. If you want a "friends with benefits" situation, find someone you don't have all this baggage with... I understand wanting to hang on to something versus nothing but most relationships require some form of distance before they can even inch toward friendship... Cathy

talaniman · Apr 22, 2007, 04:30 PM

If you want to complicate your life with drama and heart break, and misery then all you have to do is sit your ex down and tell them you want them to be a booty call, with no strings attached.

missk · Apr 22, 2007, 06:31 PM

Yeah, what he said.