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51days · Apr 7, 2007, 08:49 PM

OK well I don't really know where to start so ill just get strait to the point

Almost 2 years ago I met someone that would end up changing my life she was the most important thing that could have ever happened to me although we only went out for about a month in a half it was the best experience of my life and I can say with full confidence I loved this girl and I still do and all I've ever wanted is what's best for her. Over the last few months we've been talking a lot and she constantly tells me how much she loved me and that she still does love me. Just yesterday we where hanging out it was supposed to be just me and her but I had some stuff to do that day so I took my buddy with me when I tolder her he was coming she ended up bringing one of her friends and her boyfriend. Anyway soon as she got over to my house she noticed me shaking like crazy I was so nervous about meeting her boyfriend but I knew it had to be done cause up until then where where trying to just be friends but I think both of us knew the other wanted more than that
Anyway we ended up all getting really drunk and me and her went up to my room to talk we ended up both saying a lot of stuff about how we felt things we where to afraid to say before. Up until this point I knew things btween us where taking off we talked constantly over msn and where texting each other up to 70 times a day. I really want her back even though she did cheat on me she had a reason and things where really messed up when we where going out her friends didn't want us to be together on account that one of her other friends had been trying to get with me for about 2 months prior to us meeting each other. She's told me that I'm the only one of her ex boyfriend she still thinks about and I be leave her because of how much we talk she's apologised over and over for breaking up with me and I have forgiven her.

Now I think its time I tell you she's bi poler she's had a really hard life and needs someone there for her 24/7

Anyway I know she's been thinking about trying to get things going between us again she asked me to meet up with her in a few days from now to talk and hang out for a bit I'm pretty shur she's going to bring over a movie that I've been wanting to see for awhile now but I'm really afraid like as I type this I'm trembling uncontrollably. There's so many reasons I don't want to peruse this relationship but most of all I don’t want her to regret this (supposing what I think may happen over the next week or so is real) I don't want her to break up with her boyfriend for me not cause I give a damn about him they argue a lot but because he can be there for her and he is there for her he just like most guys don’t like to work out there problems. But now suppose we did start going back out and suppose she realizes I can't be there as much as shed like or realizes she doesn't love me the way she says she does. Then she's going to be stuck in a really ty situation and I don't want to put her there. But that's not the only problem I've recently taken a relationship with my friends ex girlfriend (lets call her jan) from friendship to the next level I've implied several times that I wanted a relationship with her and last time we spent time together we where cuddling and holding hands the whole shabang. But now I feel a huge guilt rotting inside me because of her past relationship with a good friend of mine. I decided I have to tell her I only want to be friends but hears the catch she's one of this girls best friends and no mater what if we where to start going out again she would think that I ended the possible relationship for that reason and would trun on her and she doesn't need that again and I don’t need that. Also jan liked her curent boyfriend before they even met but she went for her anyway so this would be the second time she did this to Jan. (assuming we go out of course)

I really don’t know what to do I know the smartest decision I can make is to cut off all ties with this girl but it may prove impossible. I know I will never meet anyone like her again I don’t look at any other girl the same anymore. There all just the same compared to her thers not anything that attracts me to them. When we where in my room we spent a lot of time hugging each other and it was at that point I realized I do still love her and that there is no other girl out there for me. I don't think there is anyone else in the world that can understand me the way she can some of the stuff she knows about me just boggles my mind because its stuff I hide from everyone else. For example she said strait out I know your not happy and its true I'm misrable as hell but I never show that most people see me as an easy out going fun person who is always "happy". I don't know how she knew this but soon as she said it I was in total aww...

I don't want to let this girl go I love her and I would do anything for her. I know that's wrong because a lot of people think that girls love the chase and all that but the chase seems to be what's breaking her and her boyfriend apart like she's sick of him rejecting her when she askes if he wants to cuddle or something. And this is one of the things I like about her I can be clingy I can hold her in my arms as tight as I want without having to worry about that lable

But anyway I know this is long but if you did read it I thank you and any advice would be greatly appreciated also if you can tell me how I can end things with the other girl before I get in too deep that would be very helpful I don't want to loose her as a friend and I want her to bleave me when I tell her why I just want to be friends.

Anyway I'm out thanks for listening and in advance for any help anyone can provide.

PS sorry for any spelling slash grammar problems I was up late last night and had to work a double shift so I'm extremely tired.

51days · Apr 16, 2007, 08:57 PM

OK so here's the deal I posted a few weeks ago if you have the time read it but from there things have changed we have hung out three times the first 2 times was at my dads watching a movie and we where cuddleing and stuff the last we went out for dinner her boyfriend wanted to come cause he doesn't trust her and for good reason anyway I'm at my wits end already like I love this girl so much I want to be with her more then anything in the world well at least I thought I did I mean I have so much truble imagining myself with someone else but lately I've come to realise she's really really manipulative she lies about everything even things that don't require a lie for example she told me that she about guitar hero 2 and that she had too argue with her boyfriend for like an hour before he said fine buy it (she said he said it was a waist of money) I come to find out he was the one who got it for her. I know I'm better off without her and right now its kind of like I don't want to be with her but its not the first time I've felt this over the last 2 weeks and each time I do it usuly follows with supreem depression/anxity over the idea of not being with her. Anyway I need to know if there is a way to change someone in that sense I know it sounds bad but its not just for me its ruining her life and the life of the people around her she would be better off if she started telling the truth and if she wasn't so selfish. Also I was wondering how I can confront her with a lot of her lies like when we went out before she told people that she hated me but she tells me I'm the only boyfriend she's had that she still thinks about. Like I asked her the second time she came over what she seees in me she looked me right in the eyes and listed off a bunch of things she's told me she still loves me she tells me she's not getting along with her boyfriend but I don't think that's true I think its bull she also says she has this whole thik figured out but I haven't had the chance to ask her I'm prety shur she's not going to choose me but she seems to keep draging this on like its fun for her or something. Like I don't even know what I'm trying to ask but anyway I'm going to go cause one of her friends is on and she's the only person I can trust so no spell check pleas input pleas

Skell · Apr 16, 2007, 09:05 PM

Sorry but I can't understand this. You really need to use some punctuation. It is impossible to make sense of this in its current format.

Matt3046 · Apr 16, 2007, 09:05 PM

Well what do you have to lose? Nothing, and lots of people are crazy but someone still loves them.

51days · Apr 16, 2007, 09:06 PM

I don't want to get used again she only seemed to be intrested when I started getting with one of her friends

Skell · Apr 16, 2007, 09:09 PM

Well I can understand your second post here so my advice without reading the first one would be to leave her alone and move on. Id also steer clear of her friends as well!

Matt3046 · Apr 16, 2007, 09:26 PM

Originally Posted by Skell

Well i can understand your second post here so my advice without reading the first one would be to leave her alone and move on. Id also steer clear of her friends as well!

I agree with the first part. But why not her friends?

51days · Apr 16, 2007, 09:26 PM

Thanks I've been thinking that too but I've tried 2 times now and I backed down 2 times I can't its so dificult I've never felt this and never will again all the other laidys seem the same I also hate to admit this like to cuddle and she's also a bit needy so I don't have to worry about the whole losing her for being to cleingy thing

51days · Apr 16, 2007, 09:29 PM

Lol her friends are crazy too sept one and I'm talking to her right now I can't get strait answers from anyone she's a ing drama queen its ed

talaniman · Apr 17, 2007, 06:05 AM

Are they the only people in your town or what. How about broadening your horizons and get out of her circle, period.

iAMfromHuntersBar · Apr 17, 2007, 07:15 AM

Ok, I punctuated this just so I could understand it, hope it helps others too!

shes nuts

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok so heres the deal; I posted a few weeks ago - if you have the time read it - but from there things have changed.

We have hung out three times, the first 2 times were at my dad's, watching a movie, and we were cuddling and stuff. The last, we went out for dinner, her bf wanted to come cause he doesn't trust her (and for good a reason).

Anyway, I'm at my wits end! I love this girl so much, I want to be with her more than anything in the world ... well at least I thought I did!

I have so much trouble imagining myself with someone else, but lately I've come to realise she's really, really manipulative. She lies about everything, even things that don't require a lie! For example she told me that she bought Guitar Hero 2 and that she had to argue with her bf for like an hour before he said 'fine, buy it' (she said he said it was a waste of money). I come to find out he was the one who got it for her!

I know I'm better off without her and right now it's kinda like I don't want to be with her, but it's not the first time I've felt this over the last 2 weeks, and each time I do it usually follows with supreme depression/anxiety over the idea of not being with her.

Anyway, I need to know if there is a way to change someone in that sense? I know it sounds bad but it's not just for me, its ruining her life and the life of the people around her! She would be better off if she started telling the truth and if she wasn't so selfish.

Also I was wondering how I can confront her with a lot of her lies like when we went out before, she told people that she hated me, but she tells me im the only bf shes had that she still thinks about.

I asked her the second time she came over what she sees in me. She looked me right in the eyes and listed off a bunch of things. She's told me she still loves me, she tells me she's not getting along with her bf (but I don't think that's true, I think it's bull!), she also says she has this whole thing figured out, but I haven't had the chance to ask her. I'm pretty sure she's not going to choose me, but she seems to keep dragging this on like it's fun for her or something.

I don't even know what I'm trying to ask, but anyway, I'm gonna go cause one of her friends is on and shes the only person I can trust so no spell check!

please input, please!

Right, now I understand it!

I think you've answered this question yourself, and I think you know it!

You yourself have said, she's a liar, she's manipulative and she seems to be having fun putting you through all this stress!

Why would you want to be associated with someone like that, let alone give her your heart?

If she's wrecking her life, that's her own fault! Don't get dragged in, because she'll undoubtedly drag you down with her! Don't bother confronting her about her lies because she will just spin you some more!

Take a deep breath, walk away from this emotional minefield and find someone who deserves you! Someone far, far better!

J

(Punctuation Nazi!)

51days · Apr 17, 2007, 08:19 AM

Holy crap you like totally fixed it for me hahaha lol OK well thanks for the advice I know what I need to do its just a matter of working up the balls to do it this is so hard for me I've waited a good year and 8 months for this chance and now I have to give it up (yea I know that sounds bad but if you knew her you'd know she's one of a kind under all her flaws is a really simple fun person to be around not to mention she can make me smile like its nothing.) but yea lets hope I can do this I'm going to give it a few days cause I know soon as I do this I'm going to feel like total crap. I also want to see if what I think is going on is actuly going on I want to give this one more shot I don't like giving up easly, I'm stubern like that

iAMfromHuntersBar · Apr 17, 2007, 08:25 AM

No worries mate! Lol!

I know it's difficult, one of my first 'girlfriends' was a habitual liar, she used to tell me she had another boyfriend, so she couldn't actually go out with me, but we could do everything else that a couple did! She kept me strung along for ages, but in the end you just have to realise that it's not worth the hassle!

You're trying to change a person's personality, which is exceedingly difficult to do!

What happens if you stop her lying and being manipulitive, and then she's no longer the person you're idolising?

I really think you'd be better off without her!

51days · Apr 17, 2007, 01:43 PM

OK so here's the deal I love this girl I know I know I'm probably setting myself up for disapointment but I have an honist question and it isn't at all complicated well maby it is but I think it's a good one.

What would you do for love if you where convinced you would never ever feel the same again?

If you've tried to read my last post you know how crazy she is so gimmie your relaited stories and feeling exc exc and not to be rude but I don't want anyone telling me I will find someone else that's not what this is about I'm not looking for advice I'm just curios what some of you would put up with, to be with someone your love more then anything in the world and wanted nothing more then to make them happy?

Ehh ehh did I do better I hope so cause I gota leave for work in like 3 min this was a sper of the moment thing I tried I really really did:D

noesteem · Apr 17, 2007, 03:34 PM

I think we could help each other here, I am in a similar situation. This lad is crazy over me apparently, and yeah he does show it, like he walys wants to be with me and he always texts me throughout the day and last thing before he goes to bed (which apparently says a lot in itself) and we makes each other happy and laugh and smile. But I'm worried I don't want to commit myself to him as what goes through my mind is are they being too nice just to get you for sex? Some of the texts he sends me are really caring etc and it makes me think this is a bit false? But then maybe I am just paranoid. I don't know what to do, and neither does he, but my advice ot you is tell her how much you like her etc, but try not to be false, any help?

kellkell · Apr 17, 2007, 05:36 PM

It depends... if "I" felt that way about someone who had emotional maturity and stability I would probably do anything that was legal and did not compromise my self-respect while trying to be respectful of the one who I am interested in.

But the fact is, that what ever we are going through or feeling right now, is just that... for right now. Things, especially emotions do change daily, monthly, yearly... so to say that you will never feel the same again is somewhat unrealistic. It is up to you to own your life and take control of yourself.

My spouse is a good person who is well grounded yet fun. I knew from the start that I couldn't go into relationships wanting to change the person or save the person I was with so when I met him I already had an idea of the type of person I wanted for myself. Depression and emotional instability were NOT on my list. When I realized that he was the one for me I knew that I wanted him to want me as much as I wanted him. So, I did what a normal person would do and treated him with respect and the way that I would want to be treated. I tried to make him feel special and I still do after seven years. So far it has worked. However, if he had (or does) start playing games with me or disrespecting me I will leave; even though I love him passionately.

What a person is willing to do or what they are willing to put up with definitely is defined by their own personal values.

51days · Apr 17, 2007, 06:13 PM

Originally Posted by kellkell

What a person is willing to do or what they are willing to put up with definitely is defined by their own personal values.

very well put it does depond on the person as I am young I don't know a lot about this world and I'm still trying to find my way my parents broke up a while ago and even though they both loved each other they both needed to find there own way. I don't think that she is desrespectfull I just think she has a lot going on in her life (I won't go into the deatales) and doesn't know how to handle it I also don't want to change her I just want to be there for her no matter what I understand I can't "MAKE" her happy but I can lend a sholder. And I'm not the kind of person who thinks just cause someone is troubled they don't deserve the best. She requires a lot of attention and I am the person who is willing to give that to her even if it does require me to loose my dignety. And yea I have some help for you noesteem me and this girl went out before I didn't even try to make a move on her although we only went out for 1 and a half months I would have been willing to wait a lot longer. And if this guy really does love you he will wait until your ready. And if he doesn't break up with you then you know he's there just to make you smile. Hope that helped. Any other questions and you are in a similer situation kind of creepy.

51days · Apr 17, 2007, 06:19 PM

O and keep the posts coming if you'd walk 10 000 miles then tell me if you'd climb the hights mountain then tell me I want to see what you people would do for true love if god in all his holy glory came down and said "YOU WILL NEVER FEEL THE SAME"
Lol cause I beleave I won't most people say I will find someone but it means nothing if I don't beleave in it I have more reason to beleave some alians going to come down and abduct me cause I know too much... yea...

51days · Apr 18, 2007, 09:53 AM

OK so now I'm coming to realise that so many times I had the chance to get her back and blew each one of them so many times I had the chance to start this over and now its to late and I can't stop thinking about what could have been... I don't know how to get this out of my head any ideas?

Feprincess · Apr 18, 2007, 04:11 PM

First, pull your head out of your a** and then move on.
I've been in this position and hind sight has taught me that dwelling is not only a waste of time, but boring.
Start putting your attention on something fun or develop a crush on someone.
Start to learn an instrument or something like that.
Once your attention is off yourself, you'll wonder what took you so long.