[lost bee]

I need help with my relationship. Two years ago I met a man who I thought was wonderful. I am not very young (mid 30s) so immaturity is no excuse but I am very lonely and alone. I have a small job but not much of a social life or any friends which according to him makes me a loser (maybe I am). Either way, this guy seemed to be a godsend. He would say just the right things and make me feel like he could not go on without me and was always gentle and caring.

The moment I admitted I loved him and started doing what he expected of me he changed. Nothing drastic but it happened slowly over period and when ever he would get angry it was always my fault and I deserved it. Fast forward two years and I feel am stuck with Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. Last month he hit me for the first time and he has done it thrice now. We were out and I had a bit too much to drink and could not stay up when we reached home. I fell asleep and next thing I woke to was him leaning over me and yelling at me to get up. When I stood up he slapped me hard across the face. Apparently, he was hungry and I neglected to take care of him when I got home.

Whatever I do it is never enough, and I feel more and more trapped, helpless and scared. I was abused as a child and am not a strong person. Please help me, I really need some strength to get over this man and move on but I feel I don't have anyone to turn to or anywhere to go as I am emotionally controlled by him to a huge extent. Any suggestions would be welcome.

[smoothy]

If he's abusive... you need to walk away... if he's a mean drunk... you need to walk away... its really as simple as everyone deserves a relationship that's not abusive. THere are plenty of other potiential partners out there that aren't abusive for anyone to have to stay with someone that is.

Men can be abusers and women can be the abusers too....none of them are worth wasting your life with....kids or not. We only get one life....make the most of it.

[talaniman]

He didn't change. He just fooled you into thinking he was a kind gentle person to lure you into his trap. You must leave, or call the cops and file charges against him before he kills you, or you must kill him. Reach out to a local battered women's shelter to give you the support and guidance you need as it's extremely difficult to leave on your own with no help.

You are not weak, helpless, nor a loser. Just caught in the trap of a predator.

[catonsville]

What has been said above is very true. Are you living with him or is he living with you?
If he is living with you, get a restraining order right away and force him to leave. If it is the other way around move out now. This situation is only going to go down hill.