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hair2007 · Mar 31, 2007, 12:49 PM

Hi everyone,

Venting again.. after telling the ex I will not be part of the games he plays with me any more, coming in and out of my life every 3 months, saying he needs me, wants to grow old with me and all other great things only to end up saying and doing all the opposite..

Well, after telling him this, he sends me a text message the next day to say... you're a beautiful, generous, loyal, and unbelievable person, and you deserve the best. I have to many issues to give you the best. Don't think I don't love you. When I think of what I'm missing without you in my life I know I am crazy...

I guess my questions are, why does he always try and come back, only to end up not meaning it? Why did he text me that? If he truly felt those things, he wouldn't play these games. Can't say for sure but if he will probably call again in 3 months. Its happened quite a few times...

I guess I'm having a bad day today because normaly I'm pretty much OK with realizing I need to move on...

Jiser · Mar 31, 2007, 01:01 PM

Change your number, you don't need someone in your life like this. Hot and cold is to draining in a life. Plenty more fishes, so work on yourself first then one day soon you will meet that special person. The key is to be happy completely and utterly first!

hair2007 · Mar 31, 2007, 01:20 PM

Originally Posted by Jiser

Change your number, you don't need someone in your life like this. Hot and cold is to draining in a life. Plenty more fishes, so work on yourself first then one day soon you will meet that special person. The key is to be happy completely and utterly first!

Thanks jiser for the most part I am happy... its just when he comes around... 12 yrs of loving someone.. I did change the # yesterday.. lol.. thanks again

Zeus2007 · Mar 31, 2007, 03:06 PM

THe guy is prob using yo to boost his ego. He downplays himself then tells you he would love to be with you but he isn't good enuf. Poof you say yes you are, you adorable loveable simple man, I would take you in a heartbeat. He realizes it because you respond and instant ego boost.

hair2007 · Mar 31, 2007, 03:19 PM

Originally Posted by Zeus2007

THe guy is prob using yo to boost his ego. He downplays himself then tells you he would love to be with you but he isnt good enuf. Poof you say yes you are, you adorable loveable simple man, I would take you in a heartbeat. He realizes it because you respond and instant ego boost.

So I guess its all about him.. maybe he never loved me at all, just to be with me for something to do and boost his ego knowing I'm there whenever.

sypher373 · Mar 31, 2007, 04:11 PM

Originally Posted by hair2007

so i guess its all about him..maybe he never loved me at all, just to b with me for somthing to do and boost his ego knowing im there whenever.

To be honest, I wouldn't think much about it. Its over now, and you know its over. There is no reason to bring up things from deep in the past and upset yourself over them. Don't let him do it to you anymore, and you'll feel better in time, I'm sure of it.

chobitsfan13 · Mar 31, 2007, 06:49 PM

Originally Posted by hair2007

hi everyone,

venting again..after telling the ex i will not be part of the games he plays with me any more, coming in and out of my life every 3 months, saying he needs me, wants to grow old with me and all other great things only to end up saying and doing all the opposite..

well, after telling him this, he sends me a text message the next day to say... your a beautiful, generous, loyal, and unbelievable person, and u deserve the best. i have to many issues to give you the best. dont think i dont love you. when i think of what im missing without you in my life i know i am crazy...

i guess my questions are, why does he always try and come back, only to end up not meaning it? why did he text me that? if he truly felt those things, he wouldnt play these games. can't say for sure but if he will probably call again in 3 months. its happened quite a few times....

i guess im having a bad day today because normaly im pretty much ok with realizing i need to move on....

I don't think he really means it. But that is just my opinion, I might be wrong. But if he really meant it, he would have said it to your face.

hair2007 · Apr 1, 2007, 04:13 PM

Originally Posted by chobitsfan13

I dont think he really means it. But that is just my opinion, I might be wrong. But if he really meant it, he would have said it to your face.

What do you mean exactly? Doesn't mean what he wrote in the text, or basically doesn't mean he wants it over? Sorry.. lol... can you tell I'm sooo confused... just a bad weekend I guess..

chobitsfan13 · Apr 2, 2007, 11:51 AM

Lol sorry for confusing you.. what I mean is. Iof he really meant it that he loves u and all that other stuff, he would have said it staright toy our face, in real person instead of texting you saying it.. do u get it now? Lol

Ash123 · Apr 2, 2007, 11:57 AM

He said he had "too many issues to give you the best..."

That's clear.

Now move on darlin' and let the healing BEGIN.

talaniman · Apr 2, 2007, 12:36 PM

Stop letting this guy get in your head this way. Stop his texting and he cannot confuse you, or make you think of him which is probably why he does it. Change your text address or whatever you need to eliminate his contacting you. (Sorry I'm pretty dumb when it comes to these new things)

hair2007 · Apr 2, 2007, 02:57 PM

Originally Posted by chobitsfan13

lol sorry for confusing you..what i mean is. iof he really meant it that he loves u and all that other stuff, he would have said it staright toy our face, in real person instead of texting you saying it..do u get it now? lol

Hi, lol... thanx yes I get it now... thought that is what you meant, but had to ask... he does say it to my face when he comes around and says he will always love me but wants to do what he wants to do, doesn't want me in his life totally.. actions speak louder than words. Just a bad weekend for me I guess, but feel better today... thanx again..

hair2007 · Apr 2, 2007, 03:02 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Stop letting this guy get in your head this way. Stop his texting and he cannot confuse you, or make you think of him which is probably why he does it. Change your text address or whatever you need to eliminate his contacting you. (Sorry I'm pretty dumb when it comes to these new things)

Hi, lol.. I would have to change my cell# for that, have thought about it, but I work near where he lives so he could still have the oppurtunity see me. So I figure why bother, just ignore it. So many people have my # have had it for yrs... as each day goes by I will get stronger and he can text all he wants and hopefully it will not matter..

Thanks again for your advice, it really helps me to move along...

hair2007 · Apr 2, 2007, 03:05 PM

Originally Posted by Ash123

He said he had "too many issues to give you the best..."

that's clear.

Now move on darlin' and let the healing BEGIN.

He says this all the time, then in 2-3 months he will call again show up at work, u name it.. always believe that he means it, you are right, that is what I'm doing now, moving on so if and when he comes around again I will be smarter to his lies.. thank you for your advice..

spiraljane23 · Apr 2, 2007, 04:38 PM

He probably really means the things he says when he says them, but has a problem following through. He obviously has issues that don't involve you that are affecting the relationship he has or wants to have with you. I also believe that he is thinking of you when he says that he has too many issues, and feels that he needs to let you go so that you can be happy, but don't count on him carrying through. He'll be back, and you need to decide what you are going to do when he does. If it truly is over in your eyes, then you need put your foot down and tell him off.

hair2007 · Apr 2, 2007, 05:22 PM

Originally Posted by spiraljane23

He probably really means the things he says when he says them, but has a problem following through. He obviously has issues that don't involve you that are affecting the relationship he has or wants to have with you. I also believe that he is thinking of you when he says that he has too many issues, and feels that he needs to let you go so that you can be happy, but don't count on him carrying through. He'll be back, and you need to decide what you are going to do when he does. If it truly is over in your eyes, then you need put your foot down and tell him off.

Hi, thanks for responding. Sometimes I'm not sure if he really does have commitment issues or if he just wants his cake and eat it to. Like always knowing I'm here nomatter what. In which case he is right because I have been for so long, no matter what he does or says.

I hate to say, but I do think he will call again or come by, that's always been where the problem comes in. I ignore him but eventually end up talking to him. Always thinking "he realizes it now" I've given us soooo many chances its kind of embarrising.

The no contact rule is great, I always get along fine in my life doing it exspecialy with him... my problem comes to play when he contacts me and won't stop... its what I have to work on more in order to get through this and move on. I feel I will do it should it happen again. Ifeel stronger this time.

Thank you again for yr advice...

Maricruz · Apr 3, 2007, 01:37 PM

Hey at least he's being honest when he says he's not "the best" for you, listen to that and take some time to figure out who that "best" person is. The hot/cold game is a maddening experience than in the end only hurts us.

hair2007 · Apr 3, 2007, 01:54 PM

Originally Posted by Maricruz

Hey at least he's being honest when he says he's not "the best" for you, listen to that and take some time to figure out who that "best" person is. The hot/cold game is a maddening experience than in the end only hurts us.

U can say that again it makes you crazy.. sometimes I think he uses his words to his advantage, if he is honest when he says he has issues and I deserve better then why does he come around every 3 months? Is he honest then too, saying how he needs me, wants to grow old together, it all depends on how his life is going. He is a very selfish person. He should let me move on without trying to comes back all the time only to leave again. Thanks for yr opinion... [ :

Stunning07 · Apr 3, 2007, 02:50 PM

He means it when he's alone! And has no one! Your basically convienent for him that's all.. leave his imature a$$ alone when you do that he probably will come crying back to you.. hopefully you'll be much more stronger and say NO! More games.

hair2007 · Apr 3, 2007, 02:59 PM

Originally Posted by Stunning07

he means it when hes alone! and has no one! your basically convienent for him thats all.. leave his imature a$$ alone when you do that he probally will come crying back to you.. hopefully you'll be much more stronger and say NO! more games.

Your are right, at least that's how it seems.. he is on a dating service that he signed up for right before this last time he wanted me back, which he said he went on before coming back to me, which he has done before by the way.. . such bull sh--! He must have gotten a good response recently and that's why he sent me the yr to good for me text... imagine wanting someone back every 2-3 months yet in between sampling dating services?? lol... when I re-read my own posts, I actually get embarresed that I've put up with his crap and lies...
Someone had said commitment phobic, sorry but I don't go for that either its either there or not and if its not then just admit it an stop the selfish game... thanks for responding... and sorry, had to vent.. again.. lol...