[sidecar]

Hi,

I just broke up with my girlfriend after 1 year. It was very hard for me to do but it had to be done due to family issues. It just wasn't going to work out unfortunately even though she is a great girl.

Anyway, we had a 2 hour break up over the phone (long distance), she took it very hard. I later learned from her family that she was found passed out and was taken to the ER. She is now in the hospital recovering but is continuously crying unable to move and will likely stay there for a while until she is an adequate condition.

I am unsure what to do at the moment. Should I keep checking on her, get back to her until she recovers? Or would it be better for me to leave her alone. I am really trying to do what's best for her.

Any help would be appreciated.

[Wondergirl]

Leave her alone. No contact. That would be the best and kindest way to help her get through this.

If you have any contact with her or her family/friends, her hopes will go up only to be dashed again.

[talaniman]

Let her friends, family, and doctors help her through this. You may have good intentions but why build false hope in her, and make things a lot worse.

[Sinquisitive]

I agree. Leave her alone. Don't make her feel like she's losing you over and over again every time you contact her. She'll just keep getting her hopes up and keep being disappointed. It will be easier for her to move on with her life if you just let her be. I know that's hard because this is someone you care about and you want to help in some way, but the only way you can help in this situation is by not giving her anything to base false hope on. Good luck to you both.

[sidecar]

Thanks everyone!

[J_9]

Many times, actions such as hers are attention seeking in hopes that you WILL contact her. Once you do, she will manipulate you into getting back with her throwing out the pity card.

While it is hard for you to sit back from the sidelines, I'm sure, it is the healthiest thing you can do for her. She has to learn to take rejection in a healthy manner and any contact from you will only give: a) false hopes for her as to a reconnection, or b) she will manipulate you into getting back with her.

I'm sure she is a great girl, but this side of her shows that she is not healthy with herself. That is important for a healthy relationship and it's blatantly obvious you and her would not have a healthy relationship after this episode.

[sidecar]

J_9 - You are spot on, that is exactly what happened.

I tried to stay away but she managed to pull me back in. Her brother (I believe it was her using a Google voice number) via text had begged me to help get her talking again as he mentioned that she was severely hit by this whole incident and needed a familiar voice. As everyone here in this forum had mentioned, I should have just stayed away.

Long story short, it appears that she has been playing the pity card all along. She acts like she doesn't remember what had caused her to be admitted (which was me breaking up with her).
Anyway, believing this was a sham, I asked her numerous test questions to validate authenticity of her claims. It quickly became evident that she had been lying about this whole thing and I believe had never actually been at the hospital. I confronted her (she broke down again), and I have since completely ignored her. I am getting over 70-100 texts a day from her including threats from her brothers (which I am sure it's her using a Google voice number again).

Even though she may have never been initially admitted to the hospital, this whole sham may qualify her to be.

I have never been involved in drama such as this.

[odinn7]

I would block her number for sure.