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    f8 diamond's Avatar
    f8 diamond Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 23, 2013, 01:26 PM
    No contact rule
    In my 3rd week of no contact rule,I messed up by calling him.what shld I do nw?
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #2

    Sep 23, 2013, 04:16 PM
    Hope he doesn't call back and don't call again.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #3

    Sep 23, 2013, 04:20 PM
    You realize that you slipped, and that doesn't mean that it's the end of the world.

    It's a lot like being an alcoholic. You stop drinking, and often times you have a slip, take a drink. The guilt must be tremendous, but, tomorrow is another day. So you slipped, that doesn't mean you start drinking again, it means you try harder the next day.

    Same thing here. You slipped. That means that you try harder the next day.

    Delete his info from your phone, fb, any other accounts. If that info isn't there, you'll be less tempted to call, or post, etc.

    Get busy with your friends, go out and do things, read, walk, go to the gym, volunteer, whatever it takes. Get busy with your life so you no longer need him in it.

    It's not easy, it's a long process, but you're on the right track. Don't beat yourself up because you slipped once. It's what you do from now on that counts. :)
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #4

    Sep 23, 2013, 06:16 PM
    Just like a person with a drinking or drug problem, it is one day at a time, you errored, so you start no contact over
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
    		  
    #5

    Sep 23, 2013, 06:30 PM
    Everybody is right on. Consider it a relapse, and prepare yourself as best you can, not to relapse again. Think of what led up to you calling him. Lonely? Unsure of yourself or your decision? He was in your thoughts all day? You justified it most likely in any number of situations in order to call him.

    Recognize the pattern. There is always a 'before' part.

    Figure that out, and you'll be much less inclined to repeat the same mistake twice.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #6

    Sep 23, 2013, 06:35 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Jake2008 View Post
    Everybody is right on. Consider it a relapse, and prepare yourself as best you can, not to relapse again. Think of what led up to you calling him. Lonely? Unsure of yourself or your decision? He was in your thoughts all day? You justified it most likely in any number of situations in order to call him.

    Recognize the pattern. There is always a 'before' part.

    Figure that out, and you'll be much less inclined to repeat the same mistake twice.
    I have to spread the rep, but your answer is dead on.

    It's a relapse, only that. Figure out what caused it, change your routine, realize that it's okay, and start again. :)
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