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Tttttttttt · Aug 7, 2013, 04:41 AM

I've been in a very steady relationship with my girlfriend for 3 years now and it's been absolutely great but as I have read a lot on here I made that stupid mistake of getting into a conversation with her about what we had done (sexually) in our pasts.. Now, I have slept with 4 women (2 of then were once 2 of the relationships) and she has slept with 2 but I later found out that that she was very young (14) when she first did it and even tried things such as anal... I also then found out that between her last relationship and our some events occurred with one of her friend (female friend) I had no clue at this point that she had engaged in a any homoerotic activities... But after finding out she had been fingered by this girl who she still hangs out with and with the horrendous negative reputation this other girl has with manipulating people and cheating herself... Every few weeks this problem just pops into my head and its all I can think about... It makes me angry and disgusted... And I know I sound pathetic.. I completely agree... I know that I need to get over it and I have issues but the fact this is bugging me so much I just wish there was another person somewhere that's having a similar problem so I know I'm not alone, that's all I want..

Tttttttttt · Aug 7, 2013, 04:49 AM

When reading this back I realise how pathetic I sound but the bother is really from a number of silly things like the fact she tried anal at that age and she's had intimate moments with a girl.. And then even very silly little things that shouldn't bother me like the fact she had sex outside and I never had, and she had a pregnancy scare with her ex... It's just silly -.-

Oliver2011 · Aug 7, 2013, 04:58 AM

Since you are practically perfect if you can't handle her past leave her alone so she can have a relationship with someone who won't judge her.

N0help4u · Aug 7, 2013, 05:06 AM

It amazes me how many guys get on here and say they can't get past their girlfriends past but they are no virgin their own self. There is that saying about not judging. Most people DO HAVE a past and if you can't start fresh with them from the time you got with them then you shouldn't be with them. Unless they bring sneaky, lying, cheating into the equation.

Tttttttttt · Aug 7, 2013, 05:18 AM

I get that I'm not perfect and I have a past too!! That whys I'm in a predicament! Because I know I shouldn't have a problem because of my own past.. And it's easy to just tell people to get over it but I can't help I..

N0help4u · Aug 7, 2013, 05:22 AM

Maybe its time to break it off with her,

Fr_Chuck · Aug 7, 2013, 05:39 AM

I agree, until you get over YOUR problem, not her problem, it is not going to work,

This is only going to get worst with age, so you need to find a way to deal.

Oliver2011 · Aug 7, 2013, 05:46 AM

Agreed. It is simple. This is your problem so either let your problem go or let her go.

Jake2008 · Aug 7, 2013, 06:23 AM

Yes, this problem belongs only to you, and has nothing to do with her.

The problem is you feel most likely that you would love/respect/want her more, had she had no sexual past at all. You focus on some of the sexual experiences she's had, and that makes your own prejudices all the greater.

Compare the two. No sexual past, and a sexual past with sexual acts that you find disturbing.

There is equality so to speak, between the sexes, in sexuality, and sexual experiences. That you can likely accept your own sexuality and sexual experiences, and those of your male counterparts, but judge only females, leaves me thinking you have a few shortcomings in accepting sexual freedom for women.

What she has done is no different than any male. We all have a sexual past, so why do you judge hers as being so problematic? It's because you cannot accept the difference.

I think you would likely judge the next female you were involved with, the same way. No matter that she was as honest as the last one, she would be judged, because of, her sexual history. Her value, her worth, her personality, honesty, integrity- all of it, takes second place in your current relationship, because you are so bothered that she has a sexual past.

You can talk until you are blue in the face, but until you realize that you, as a male, are no different, or judged differently- either by yourself or others- as being somehow less than desirable because of your sexual history; indeed, judged less than a person, the prejudice and double standard you are living by, will rob you of any solid relationship.

You need to work on yourself more, and your own shortcomings in character, so that you can accept a woman, who has a sexual past, just as easily as you can accept that you too, have a sexual past, and your partner accepts you.