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Annie_L87095 · Apr 23, 2013, 01:20 AM

I've been with my boyfriend now for three years, but I think the spark has gone. Whenever he wants to see me, I feel really bad and I want to try and avoid him but I really don't want to hurt him. I broke up with him once and he reacted so badly to it, making me feel horrible (he teared up a piece of paper in front of my face and said "this is what we're like now!"), I really don't want to hurt him in that way again and I'm actually quite scared about how he'd react. I never want to kiss him anymore and it irritates me so much whenever he's like "give me a kiss" because I just don't want to. And then the newest scenario is saying "I love you", but what should be a gentle affirmation of affection feels like a test and when I don't automatically reply he goes "huh? huh?" until I do, but I feel like I'm lying. He has supported me through so much and I don't want our relationship to be over, but I think this is what it has come to. I hate confrontation so I'm really not looking forward to trying to break up with him. I know this isn't really a question but I just need to vent it out. I've been feeling this way for at least the past year. If anyone can give me any advice, please do.

Oliver2011 · Apr 23, 2013, 04:26 AM

Realize that no one likes confrontations and nobody likes to initiate a breakup. If you have fallen out of love with the boyfriend then it really isn't your responsibility on how he reacts to the news. You will have a huge weight off you if you go forward with this. So get it done. Be sensitive about it, but do it.

smkanand · Apr 23, 2013, 04:59 AM

This is stretching the relationship. His act is putting emotional pressure on you. You should have to move on with sensitiveness and have to tell him that, this is emotionally suffocating for you. You should talk to him and its up to him how he handle this. But the situation will be more frustrating if you won't talk.

Homegirl 50 · Apr 23, 2013, 04:36 PM

Do the honest and big girl thing, end this It! Is unfair to him and making you miserable. The longer you lie, the harder it will be.

nccaitlin91 · Apr 24, 2013, 08:53 PM

When you break up it will be more of a relief than anything once its done, at least it was for me after 2.5 years. Sure he will try to make you feel bad but you do what makes you happy!

tita1 · Apr 25, 2013, 02:51 AM

You should really have to think about what's is going on in your head.. look on what you really want,what have changed in him and you.. maybe he haven't changed at all,maybe you have been busy for awhile and then your feelings have became distracted.Relationships need paitence and there is no perfeect relashionships,I mean you might meet a new guy and maybe will get married ,though the years love could turns cold.. But a couple would stay together not because of love only.. and for mutual respect and understanding.. If he respect you and adore you ,why would you leave him though,think about the reasons you have loved him and back some sweet memories,maybe this could wakes up the love in you.. If you can not help.. the best thing can be is truth.. sit with him,tell him about that you like him and you are thankful for him but you can not feel love,and you need him to help you slowly to give it a chance,don't decide any thing when you are angry or irriated,cause they might be false.

joypulv · Apr 25, 2013, 03:03 AM

What I am wondering is why YOU are so meek. 'At least a year' - out of three? Yikes. Not liking confrontation doesn't explain your behavior. You don't have to have a confrontation to pack up your stuff and walk out. You can tell him in writing, and refuse to see him, based on his past actions.