[shuzuka4u]

I am 23 years old girl and I am in relationship with a guy from past 2 years but the problem is he is already committed to someone else. It all started this way.
We both were working together. We know each other from past 7 years. We were very good friends, but as the days went on I started falling in love with him. Everything that he did to me made me fall for him more and more but at the same I knew that he is already committed to his longtime girlfriend, so I never wanted to express my feelings about what I feel for him, but later I decided to let him know that I am in love with him. But he was frank enough to tell me that he liked me too but he can't get into anything else as he is already committed to someone. I agreed and understood his situation and decided to continue with friendship.

But as the days went by the one day messaged me stating that he likes me and loves me too, but he cannot be with me as he can't break up his relationship with his girlfriend. I was happy when he told me that he loves me too, so I was least bothered about anything else. I decided to be with him, even though I know I won't get him. We have been together this way from past two years, but now I have started to feel more jealous when I see his pictures with his girlfriend. Of course he says that he loves me a lot and will be with me forever, though he won't be able to marry me, but sometimes I feel it's wrong.

So 2 weeks back I decided to tell him that I will go away from him as I am not able to take the pain of seeing him with someone else. He kept quiet and agreed for everything. There was no communication for 2 weeks. I couldn't control myself I ended up writing an email to him. But there was no response. Last week he called me at night and told me that he can't live without me. But there is nothing he can do as things are not in his control because his relationship with his girlfriend is too deep now, he can't get out of it though he wants to.

My relationship with him is a secret which no one knows, but his relationship with his girlfriend is known to everyone, his family, her family, his friends and her friends, everyone. It hurts me a lot when I think about myself that I am a hidden secret to everyone.
I am so confused I really don't know what to do. He is been very loving and caring at the same time it proves it so fake when I see his recent pictures updated by his girlfriend on Facebook. I can't even ask him anything or argue about anything, because I know if I ever do that I will end up losing him. Can someone help me on this?

[askmebmf]

There is only one thing you can do: leave him.

No matter what he says to you, how hard it is or how much it hurts. Truth? Worse scenario he keeps leading you on and on and you lose precious time, or get really really hurt when he finally marries her. Best scenario? He leaves her (sounds unlikely) and stays with you - will you trust him knowing what he has been doing to his current girlfriend?

You will get hurt both ways, but keeping this on will only hurt you. And it can hurt the other girl if she finds out. Most women have been in love with an , and trust me, this will only loose your time and sanity.

If he really loves you, he would have left her a long time ago. Doing that to both of you does not make him a man, but a very immature boy. A woman needs a man, who takes responsibility for his actions, who protects who he loves, and who is not afraid.

Sex and good wording choice is not a reason to keep banging your head. Go for someone who mans up. It will hurt at first, but trust me, you won't regret it when the storm in your heart calms down.

[Terez07]

As long as you remain involved with this man, you are putting your own life on hold. Please understand if this guy truly wanted to commit to you, he would have.

Don't you think you are worth being with someone who is as committed to the relationship as you?

I also agree that even if he does leave his girlfriend (which he won't), how could you possibly trust him? What makes you think he wouldn't be proclaiming his love to another while with you?

Move on with your life. Believe me, there are great guys out there who are willing to commit to you 100%. Everyone deserves that, and so do you.

I hope you think so too.

[odinn7]

He says he loves you and will always be with you but he can't leave her. Are you an idiot? He's playing you and your life has been on hold for this guy for the last 2 years when it's never going to go anywhere. Why should he leave her? He has you and her and right now you're just a sex toy to him and you're allowing it to happen.

Why not find someone that isn't committed to anyone else? It will be better off for you to do this and stop being used.

[talaniman]

You both have crosed the boundaries of good common sense behavior and need to leave each other alone. You would help him cheat on his commitment, and that's NOT good.