[inolvidable]

Well ever since the first I felt it was a sign that he was possesive had trust issues most importanly jealous.I remember first tyme I met him,we were in the car&i was txting he looked at me &asked who you txting your other bfs,I looked at him and laughed &said o totally because I thought he was just kidding,well.. I was wrong.I should have took that as a red flag.He always had this image he called"good girl".&i do consider myself good as in I don't cheat&respect myself.But he just had this image that he thought was a good girl.&prefertly I'm human I make mistake,like he always ask me about my past,ex bfs and who I had sex with to who I hung out with.I would never want to tell him about my past sex life first it was none of his business at least me as a person I rather not know I believe if you love someone it shouldn't matter why bring it up,&not only that but he asked if I messed around and pretty much wanted to know with who how when where&why.. that made me so uncomftrable I didn't want to answer but he forced it out of me,so as a human I couldn't help but ask him the same thing.I knew it was wrong but since he done it to me I begun feeling that I had the right,so we talked about our past exs sex etc.. I hate him for that because now he put so much thoughts in my head&made me into someone I never thought I become.Im constanely jealous I don't trust him.But that's cause of him ever since I met him he had trust issues&as I begun to learn about his past I found out he had a lot of slutty exs.. but that's not my fault,its his for sticking around why should I have to suffer the agony when I never given him a reason.He was with his first girlfriend for five yrs and I honestly get jealous&think what made her so damn special,she cheated on him&etc why he stay what does she have that was so special.I hate that I feel this way you have told him how I feel but it just don't make me feel any better.His just so strange he cries a lot for example,last weekend I went to a christmas dinner with my mom&he got all pissy because I appeartnly looked "good"&i was wearing high heels,so we got into it because of that.Some other tyme he cried because I didn't want to go with him to cut his hair.. said I go with my family everywhere but nowhere with him,his a big boy&he can go himself I'm 17 his 21 ,I just wasn't in the mood to go out.. because of how he treated me that I couldn't look at a guys direction because he'd freak out and think I was checking them out he made me that way so at hair salons there's a lot of girls&thats the reason I didn't want to go.I know this isn't healthy but he made me feel like its normal.He has so many trust issues that,he used to go threw my phone I hated that but he always said if don't got nothing to hide there shouldn't be a problem,&i don't,but it's the moral of trusting me,&not going to those measures there was times I try&fight but at times I went threw his I felt horrible,he doesn't like me talking to guys as friends I used to have a facebook&he made me delete it,&when we restarted it we had eachothers passwords so he'd know what was going on,appearantly it make him feel better knowing if a guy was trying to get with me.He says he acts the way he does because his been hurt a lot and he doesn't want to loose me.But I think its because he can't get over his ex.for example 2 months or a month into our relationship we started talking about kids getting married&he had this obssesion with me getting pregnant by the 5 month we were engaged,we been toghter now for 9months.We moved to quickly I regret it&i told him this.It makes me feel his like this cause with his ex he had plans whether he denys it.I mean he was with her 5yrs &me just 9 I mean c'mon I'm not dumb.idk if this is noraml if its just me I don't know what to do his a very sweet guy&overall has treated me the best outa all my bfs in away but in the other not really,I'm in love with him I cook for him pack his lunch got his car when it got tooken up sticked with him threw good&bad when he didn't have a car or a job,I never given him a reason to be this way.I find it very hard to walk away for good I leave him alot&he says that's why he is all jealous&etc because I walk away so easily so he feels as soon as I find someone better ill leave for good.yes,I do leave him but its cause of all this & all the thoughts I have in my head thanks to him I constanely find myself stalking his exs Facebook I know its wrong but I can't stop.. everytime I leave him I cry like a baby&always end up taking him back my dad says ill never find someone as good as him,my family really loves him,&so do I but I believe he has no reason to do this.so to anyone reading this please help any advice is welcome I want to know is it just me am I in the wrong? Please answer asap thanks