[jueves]

It's horrible.. let me introduce myself: I had a great short relationship, until we both fked up when decided to make it long distance, I went to study and he stayed in the usa with the plan of marrying afterwards, we met in this place so we have very little common friends.

Things went downhill since the travel, I was too depressed and lonely and felt he wasn't there for me at all, he stop chatting with me for a week and that really hurt me (now I realized I overreact then) so I get rid of our fb status, we then end the relationship by chat , but still talked to each other somehow... then he stop talking to me at all, I thought and thought what could had being the cause and I think it was because I went for vacations to visit a friend that somehow was interested in me before, stupid as I was, I hang the pics of the visit on fb, I seriously thought it wasn't important and thought things would still be fine.. but they weren't he stop replying my mails since then, I was alone and sad and far from my family.. and all that made me act like a crazy btch :(.. send him around 4 mails that he just ignored. Finally one day I wrote him another letter.. crazy stupid letter that made him realized I was emotionally inestable or something, that probably scared him away... and I got blocked out of his Facebook until now...

Anyway, it's being a year, I miss him like hell, I wish it wouldn't finish like this, that it wouldn't finish at all... now he is doing great in chicago, got a promotion, has things going his way and probably he is dating many girls much better than me at this point, I feel like a loser, things hadn't work out since paris to me.. everything start to feel meaningless and even if this year things had improved so much cause I don't feel lonely.I know that probably will have to learn how to live with the pain in the heart... forever?. this is not even a question, but somehow would like to know who had pass through the same and how to overcome all this feelings, it really sucks.. life is a :(