[chesterfield]

We have been together for 2 years and we have been living together almost all this time. We've had our ups and downs but I love him so much I feel he is the one I want to spend my life with.

The problem is that he becomes more and more distant with every argument we have, and even if there are no arguments he acts distant now. He used to be very affectionate and he said he loved me every day; always tried to steal a kiss, touch me, say something nice.Now he says 'not now' when I try to kiss him; he says that I can't expect him to cuddle every time I want to cuddle.

I tried to have a converstation yesterday, asking if he thinks something's changed. He said that I can't expect him to act like nothing happened when we've had arguments. The fact is we did have some arguments but as I said to him, the path to harmony is communication. If we don't communicate how will we solve our problems?
I said I can put up with anything but not with the lack of desire from his side to work on the relationship. And it seems he is lost and doesn't want to be found anymore.. It seems to me he wants out of the relationship but is afraid to say it. I can feel he's burdened. He says we cannot communicate and I totally do not understand what he means because we talk like grown-ups and I've always been open to talking, not arguing. He has this desire, a very strong one, to always be right and doesn't stand contradiction, and sometimes I get tired of those talks when he tries to convince me in his opinion when actually nothing depends on this.. It is during these talks when he decides we cannot communicate and says I don' understand him. I say I do, which is different from agreeing with his point of view, but he says if I understand, I would agree, and it upsets him when I don't agree = I don't understand what he's saying. Those arguments can go on for hours on subjects from serious (raising a child) to minor (perfect tiramisu recipe).
Eventually I am getting tired of fighting for the relationship. He just doesn't want me to. I don't know what to do..

[Tigre83]

Hi,
My relationship is a little similar to yours maybe.
I have been together with him for 10 years and we always lived together, almost like married.
Recently we had to move country (used to live in Uk, since he is from there) and a bit before leaving he said he wouldn't follow me and I could go myself. I was upset but in the end I convinced him to go, or he just followed because he cared maybe.
But we are having problems now, we argue often and he doesn't seem as interested as he was in the past. He even said I wasn't attractive to him in that way anymore, but after he would apologize and say that he didn't mean it and he wants to stay with me.
I don't know, I believe if its real love, you will stay together, otherwise, its time to split up and maybe he will come back to you if he really loves u. Good luck.