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Tricia1989 · Oct 14, 2012, 09:58 AM

I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a year. Things were great until 3 months ago. He stopped feeling for sex. Saying that he was stressed at work and other personal stuff. Before we met he had recently out of a 13year relationship. But the girl was unfaithfull to him and they separated. They remained friends and I always suspected that they were still messing around. But he denied it all. He always keeps his phone locked but about a week ago he fell asleep and forgot to lock the phone. So I went through his messages and saw that his ex used to spend nights by him and he by her. It also looked like she had a man but he was doggin behind her. I didn't see anything about sex but its clear if they are sleeping over by each other sex was taking place. I confronted him about it and he began crying and saying hw sorry he was. But he swears that they never had sex. Of course I don't believe him. They say everyone deserves a second chance and he has always been good to me. But I am thinking that this isn't any random girl that he can just forget about. Its clear that he still has love for this ex. So I really don't know what to do. He is begging and pleading for me to give him another chance. I already said no but sumwhere deep inside I am having second thoughts. What would u advise??

zeppelinqueen · Oct 14, 2012, 11:42 AM

Leave him alone.
He cheated on you with his ex, there is no accepting that. Cheating is one of the worst things to do to someone, if he wanted to have sex with other people then he should have just told you that he wanted to move on. Don't give him another chance, you're worth much more than that. You can forgive him but I would advise you to move on. Once a cheater, always a cheater. You cannot change someone who doesn't want to be changed, who knows if he's still messing around with his ex behind your back? Leave him alone and save yourself the heartache.

Homegirl 50 · Oct 14, 2012, 11:47 AM

How long after his break up with his ex did you two start dating?
If you had not gone through his phone, he would have still be cheating. I would not take him back.

Tricia1989 · Oct 14, 2012, 12:17 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

How long after his break up with his ex did you two start dating?
If you had not gone through his phone, he would have still be cheating. I would not take him back.

It was about four months after we got together...

hlw8989 · Oct 14, 2012, 12:29 PM

The real question is how much self respect do you have? Do you believe you are worthy of a partner that is faithful to you? If so, which I hope you do believe because everyone is, then you should leave him. Because bottom line - he wasn't good to you if he cheated on you. You miss the illusion he gave you, not who he actually is. You are worthy of love that you don't have to share. So stay away from him and learn to love yourself first so that you may one day find the love from someone that you deserve. And this guy isn't it.

Homegirl 50 · Oct 14, 2012, 12:31 PM

That was a little soon after a 13 year relationship. Could be he never got over his ex. You were the rebound.
Leave him alone. If you had not caught him, he would have still been seeing her.

Tricia1989 · Oct 14, 2012, 12:36 PM

Originally Posted by hlw8989

The real question is how much self respect do you have? Do you believe you are worthy of a partner that is faithful to you? If so, which I hope you do believe because everyone is, then you should leave him. Because bottom line - he wasn't good to you if he cheated on you. You miss the illusion he gave you, not who he actually is. You are worthy of love that you don't have to share. So stay away from him and learn to love yourself first so that you may one day find the love from someone that you deserve. And this guy isn't it.

Thanks a lot... u are right!!