[ihatecarey]

Okay, so, I've had a girlfriend for a year now. I've never been as in love with anyone as I am right now with my current girlfriend. Our relationship's ing crazy, we don't have any other contact with anyone except family. We just talk to each other. It's weird, I know, but me and my girlfriend are pretty ed up and that's just how our relationship works. Okay so, April 27th, me and my girlfriend broke up for a couple of months. During the 2 months we broke up, I got a new girlfriend, because my ex had gotten a new boyfriend, and there's no way I'm going to sit at home alone crying over her when she's ing someone else. So anyway, me and my girlfriend got back together in early July and we've been together since then. Although, today, me and my girlfriend broke up again.

I thought, like, this was it. We'd never get back together. So I met up with the same person I was seeing while me and my girlfriend broke up the first time. Now, my girlfriend wants me back. But I know that she'd never talk to me ever again if she finds out about me meeting up with this other girl, even though we were broken up.

The girl I met up with is now basically saying that if I get back with the love of my life, she'll tell her that we met up on the day I broke up with my girlfriend ( this is complicated). I shouldn't have met up with her but I didn't know what else to do.

I want to be with my girlfriend more than anything in the world, but I'm scared that the "ex" will tell my girlfriend that we met up and then my girlfriend who I'm ing in love with will just leave me. No word of a lie I will commit suicide if this happens.

I want to get back with my girlfriend, but my ex is saying she'll tell my girlfriend if I get back with her. So what the can I do here? I'm honestly so ing heartbroken without my girlfriend, I can't not be with her, I'm too in love to walk away. But I can't be with her, because this ex is going to it all up.

Please if anyone understands this please give me advice because I'm so close to doing something stupid.

[Homegirl 50]

How old are you and what difference does it make if you went back to the girl if you and your girl friend were already broken up?
If your relationship can't survive that, you don't have much of one.
Why did the two of you break up in the first place?

[ihatecarey]

How old are you and what difference does it make if you went back to the girl if you and your girl friend were already broken up?
If your relationship can't survive that, you don't have much of one.
Why did the two of you break up in the first place?

I'm a 19-year-old female and my girlfriend is a 16-year-old female. Well to me, it doesn't make a difference. But to my girlfriend, she'd think I didn't love her and all this crap, because I IMMEDIATELY went back to her like literally the same day me and my girlfriend had broken up. We broke up because my girlfriend wanted me to tell the girl I got with while we broke up a couple months before, to off. I'm not a mean person and I just thought like, why should I tell her to frick off for no reason? She wasn't contacting me or anything. Anyway, I actually agreed to tell my ex to frick off for my girlfriend but for someone reason she still kicked me out. Later on in the day she rang me and begged me back, obviously made me regret meeting up with the girl but it's too late.

I daren't tell my girlfriend because I know she'll leave me and I'm scared my ex will tell her if I don't stay with my ex. But I don't even like my ex, at all. Hate her in fact. I just didn't want to be alone.

[Homegirl 50]

The 16 year old is just immature. The whole thing is silly. You going from one person to the next and then back again because you don't want to be alone.
Maybe you should be alone, so you can see you will survive. This 16 year old girl is freaking you out because of her immaturity and this shows your insecurity. Is this other girl young too?

[Homegirl 50]

This relationship is just crazy and dysfunctional. She leaves you and gets a boyfriend and now she is mad because you rebounded back to the original rebound.
You don't need to be in a relationship with her. She is immature and you're insecure. Stay alone for awhile and work on you.

[ihatecarey]

This relationship is just crazy and dysfunctional. She leaves you and gets a boyfriend and now she is mad because you rebounded back to the original rebound.
You don't need to be in a relationship with her. She is immature and you're insecure. Stay alone for awhile and work on you.

You're right. Exactly right. You're answering with complete common sense and trust me, I really do need to be alone. But like, I don't have a life, as in no friends/family, just nothing really. All I want is for me and my girlfriend to be in love and happy.. Sure it's dysfunctional but I can understand why she'd be mad, I moved on in a day. Well I didn't obviously but that's what it'd look like to her. It's so odd someone mentioning her immaturity, I always found her one of the most mature people I'd dated so far. Says a lot about my track record. The rebound is 18, she's more immature than my girlfriend, though.

Homegirl, your advice is perfect but I can't listen to it because I'm too stupidly in love. Without leaving my girlfriend, what do you think I can do to get the rebound to stop blackmailing me to be with her? Because I don't want the rebound, she can frick off. (Only saying frick because swear words don't show up, so yeah).

Thank you for your advice so far.

[Homegirl 50]

The rebound is immature and silly too.
You are the older one. Deal with it. She can only blackmail you if you let her. Take the power away from her. Tell her to do what she wants. Tell your girl friend yourself and then deal with the consequences. At least you will be the one controlling the whole mess. If she leaves, that will probably be the best thing, cause I guarantee she will leave you again anyway. She needs to grow up. You don't get that silly about something like that when you're a mature person. She left you and went to a boy. Does she not see how that would bother you?
You guys don't need anybody in your lives right now because your just using each other and playing games.

[Homegirl 50]

Get a life, make some friends get out and do things. Do you work or go to school? You don't need a 16 year old in your life to make you happy.
What are the laws where you live. Is she the age of consent? You could be in trouble messing with her anyway.

[ihatecarey]

The rebound is immature and silly too.
You are the older one. Deal with it. She can only blackmail you if you let her. Take the power away from her. Tell her to do what she wants. Tell your girl friend yourself and then deal with the consequences. At least you will be the one controlling the whole mess. If she leaves, that will probably be the best thing, cause I guarantee she will leave you again anyway. She needs to grow up. You don't get that silly about something like that when you're a mature person. She left you and went to a boy. Does she not see how that would bother you?
You guys don't need anybody in your lives right now because your just using each other and playing games.

I hate that you're right. I want to tell my girlfriend but I really cannot deal with losing her. She's quite literally all I have. And well, I'm all she has. We've given up everything for each other so I don't see how I can build up a life again. I don't work because I'm depressed about the fact that I was homeless for 6 years, have no friends, have no family, my dad tried to molest me, honest to god have no one to turn to other than you, homegirl. How pathetic is that. You're a stranger yet I'm relying on your advice to save my life. I don't know. I'm just f•cked up and my girlfriend's all I have so I'm trying to not lose her. Yes she's immature about things but she loves me, and that's all I need. Her love. I can't function properly without her. I just come to my sh•tty shared bedsit and cry 'cause I'm the biggest fu•king girl about sh•t like this. I know what you're saying is true but if you were in the same situation as me, you'd do everything you could to make this f•cked up relationship work because it's all you have. I feel empty without my baby. I want to rip out my own heart at the thought of someone else even looking at you. Never seen someone love a person like I love this girl. It's ridiculous. I can't help it and I'm dead serious about just ending it all 'cause I'm in so much pain already, this doesn't help.

[Homegirl 50]

This is not love, it is dysfunction. This girl does not love you. She is 16. She went from you to a guy and then back to you.
Are you in therapy, on medication? Get yourself some help so you can do something with your life other than obsess over this girl. What kind of life can either of you offer each other if you are not emotionally stable and unemployed.
What were you doing a year ago before you met her? You never did address the age question. Does this girls mother know she is having a relationship with you?

[ihatecarey]

This is not love, it is dysfunction. This girl does not love you. She is 16. She went from you to a guy and then back to you.
Are you in therapy, on medication? Get yourself some help so you can do something with your life other than obsess over this girl. What kind of life can either of you offer each other if you are not emotionally stable and unemployed.
What were you doing a year ago before you met her? You never did address the age question. Does this girls mother know she is having a relationship with you?

Yeah, the girl's mother is well aware. She treats me dead nice and she's fine with me. I reckon 'cause I'm a girl, I can't get her daughter pregnant, so that's a plus for any mother. Yeah, she's 16, but I'm not that kind of person.. I'm 19 yeah but, I don't look it or anything. I couldn't even get into a 15 movie the other day... Madness. But I am dead immature as well. Before I met her I was at college, things were all right, I was living in a hostel then though. But I had a lot of friends and I was sort of popular in college for a bit. About 5 months before my current girlfriend, my first ever girlfriend (first love and all that) cheated on me with my guy friend and like, left me heartbroken. Fu•king lol. But I've only ever had 2 serious girlfriends, this one being my second. I'm not on medication, I want to go to the doctors and just be like look, my life's , I'm broke as f•ck, got no parents to help me or anything and I just don't want to live anymore.. Kind of scared of what the doctors will think. It's a lot more in depth than that but yeah. Feels nice being able to say things on here 'cause no one knows me at all. I feel as though, even though you're probably judging me, I don't really mind because well.. You don't know me. Not in a mean way.. Don't know what I'm on about now.

Anyway, I got back with my girlfriend and the rebound accepted that I'm in love with my girlfriend and she said she'd just wait until we break up again. I treat people like sh•t but the rebound is like proper obsessed with me. Fu•king weird. I have nothing to offer anyone and they both know that but they both love me... Okay then. Not going to argue. Cheers for the advice.

[Homegirl 50]

I am not judging you, I am speaking to you as a mom and adult giving advice to a young person.
Go to the doctor, get some counseling. Get back in school if you have quit. You need to be emotionally happy to be in a stable and healthy relationship.
This 16 year old needs to be in a healthy relationship.
Work on yourself. You have overcome a lot. Don't have it be in vain. Do something with your life.
I wish you well.