[niemalna]

SUPERSUPERSUPERLONG

My boyfriend of 4 years went on vacation this summer, as he does every summer with his family(we're 18). He went to an island and was there for about 2 weeks, during which he says he couldn't talk to me. When he came back, I saw he added to fb & talked to a lot of girls (no guys) that he had met there while he was on the plane coming back. He didn't talk to me because he thought I would be asleep and expected these other girls to be awake.
A few days ago, I was on his new phone going to put a picture of us on the background for him. (he had one of us on his last phone that he had done himself, and it was our anniversary so I thought it would be nice). He hadn't transferred any pics over to the new phone, and only had one of another girl. It was a normal picture, her hiding in a cabinet or something but I still felt uncomfortable & brought it up with him, because he had had the same pic on his camera & said he wasn't there and didn't know about it. When I mentioned it was also on his phone, he said I misunderstood him and that he didn't know his camera had been borrowed by another guy (apparently everyone in the guys hall took a picture of this girl because it was funny) but that he HAD been there.
I let that go too, but a little reluctantly because he has flirted heavily (asked out, called sexy, etc, but no kissing/sex/etc) with girls in the past (including my two best friends). That was about a year ago though, so we've moved on. I'm still a little rocky on trusting him because he tends to tell white lies (like not saying he was out last night with people I'm friends with myself, because he DID go to sleep at 6am so sleeping should count as an answer).
Today, I was helping him with homework on his laptop and went to his 'computer' to pull up some files. I saw his pictures library was expanded and there was a NSFW folder under it. I opened it up, and found 2 additional folders: "anime/celebs" and "curacoa".
The anime/celebs had pictures of like Hilary Duff (who he had told me he really liked as a kid and stuff but no longer thought about) and naked anime girls. The Curaçao one was from this past summer vacation. He took dozens of pictures of girls sunbathing and walking around in bikinis or one of a girl at a desk on the computer looking down her shirt(some only appeared to be 15 years old!). He says he took them only for drawing purposes, because he didn't think I'd let him take photos of me. There are several of the same few girls. He doesn't know their names or anything because they never even knew he was taking pictures of them! It was like voyeuristic stuff. He says he doesn't even look at them as people, only the same as buildings which he also draws & uploads the photos and drawings of. He says it's like his cousin who is a professional photographer of women (which I've talked about how weird that is and how I'd be uncomfortable to be his wife). And all sculptors do this so it's normal and I'm just overdramatic and a liar for going through his files.
Anyway, I'm very upset. Not only is it creepy that the girls didn't know (there's a difference between modeling and hiding a camera to take pics they don't even know about from a guy they don't even know is there), but I felt he WAS hiding them by placing them in a special folder, not uploading them or showing me them with the rest of his photos, and then telling me when I asked if he had any photos (because he had a few of a girl in normal clothing that his family had invited over) this summer and he said "no". When I was talked about how weird his cousin's profession was and how weird it was to have pictures of a girl in a cabinet, wouldn't he think that those photos would make me uncomfortable? And the "I didn't know this wasn't okay" and the "I forgot" excuses don't really seem to count to me.
He thinks a little differently and doesn't tend to realize certain things aren't okay unless explicitly stated. But when I confronted him despite his "you're a snoop/liar" comments he SEEMED sincere. Got very upset and crazy sad and would tell me to "hurt him" and stuff. So while I don't really trust him, I feel like his reactions are sincere and I just want to believe him. I haven't been with him for 4 years because he's a liar or a cheater or an , I have because he's incredibly sweet and funny and gets me.I just don't understand these things.


Tl;dr
My boyfriend has pictures he took secretly of girls on vacation on the beach and stuff that he says he forgot to tell me about and he only had for drawing purposes. Thoughts? If they WERE just for drawing, does that even make it okay?
I don't want to break up with him. :( I feel like I should ask him to do something to show he doesn't have any interest in the photos, they're innocent, and he will never do something like that again. He hasn't even apologized.

[bigNavySeal]

I think you're overreacting. Trust him a little bit more and don't act the jealous type. It will drive him nuts.