[confusdconfusd]

I have been a lot insecure in our relationship, got jealous at small things, been verbally abusive, as I have been betrayed in the past relationship. My boyfriend doesn't show feelings that well. Not towards anything. In fact if he feels anger or sadness and nowadays even affection he just goes down, shuts contact, stays alone till he shakes off the feeling.

We fought a lot during the one and a half year of the relationship. We were best friends for years so breaking up was too painful to do.
First 10 months were bliss. But with every fight he shut down a little more. He was at fault too... many a times. But I always forgave him and forgot about it. But he always kept a grudge.

Now he says he wants to break up. But cannot lose the friendship. I asked him to give another chance. He agreed, but I don't think his heart is in it. When I ask him he says I had practiced to see you as a friend gotten over it and all that without even telling me!! And now he needs time to change his perspective again. It all sounds a little silly to me. But if that's what he needs then I can give him time.

Breaking up is too hard. I want to do it sometimes. But staying in contact after break up takes the best out of me. Can things ever get better? His friends say that he loves me but he doesn't realize it. I feel pathetic. If things can get better, there’s any hope, I'll work for it. I just want to know if I'm fooling myself or his reasons are genuine. Help please.

[Jason53]

Once you star the breaking-up process, if you do not talk about it both of you and find out what is the problem, then you are indeed breaking up. You can try to mend things up 2-3times. But if the issues are not addressed, nothing will change. Make a list of things that each of you do not like and be open about it. Also, where do you both see yourselves in 10-20-30-40 years time!
Just be mature and accept things. Life is too short.. minutes have gone since u posted this message.. so what are you waiting for to take things in hands.

[talaniman]

I think you have a lot of false hope because you cannot accept he wants to let you go.I think you should let him, and do your thing without him.