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asian gyal · Sep 1, 2012, 05:29 PM

He's moved into the city where obviously I live in, and I met him for the first time in Mosque. I used to hate him but things have now changed, we've become good friends. I've started to like him for the past couple of months. I don't know what to do! I don't want to tell him in case this affects our friendship, and he's a really nice guy. I'm going to be 16 in October, and he's 17.

Muffin123 · Sep 1, 2012, 09:38 PM

You know what you have to do..

Ask him.

Unless you can read minds then you need to ask him..

That is the only way.

talaniman · Sep 1, 2012, 10:33 PM

The nature of the friendship has changed already since you seem to have grown in feelings for him. Are you even allowed to date, or have a boyfriend? I know you are a Muslim, and certain traditions must be followed.

asian gyal · Sep 2, 2012, 01:48 AM

I know that I'm a Muslim, but I can't help it, I don't even think that my parents will actually allow me todo so, I'm so confused!

talaniman · Sep 2, 2012, 07:08 AM

Don't be confused, its actually quite normal to have these feelings of attraction for others at this time. Its thrilling and scary at the same time as you wonder if the object of these intense feelings has the same attractions as you do. The confusion comes with not knowing and what to do about it.

It helps if you know what your parents expect and what are your limits of your culture as far as good behavior, so you know the right and wrong thing to do, and not do. I can only suggest to keep talking as friends for now and see what happens and if it comes to a conversation, then you know what can be done depending on what your parents will allow. Your mom knows what you are feeling, and can guide you through those feelings with the proper advice.

If you have not had the conversation on the feelings of attraction for guys, talk and listen to her. These are the things to take some of the confusion from your thinking at this time as you learn t cope with your feelings in a mature way.

I think the advice for now is not get overly carried away by your feelings,and not act out of desperation, as we all carefully work through the intensity sometimes, and think things through before we act. So talk to your mom, and see what's allowed, and what's not. Then you can know to talk about with him.