[haylebop]

My boyfriend and I recently broke up as he was being very horrible to me and felt like he was putting me down and controlling me. Beforehand he punched my male friend and threw people out the house. I then left him and moved up to my parents. I have since been spending time with him and he is stating the reason he was being horrible to me was because he had cold feet as he felt we had moved in together really fast. I really love this guy and after I left him to go to my parents he realized what a big mistake he had made. He has even been crying and I have never seen him show emotions like this before. He has since phoned and apologized to all my friends for his bad behavior and wants to make things right. My parents on the other hand want nothing to do with him. I now know the reason he was being horrible to me and pushing me away was because he had cold feet. What can I do?

[talaniman]

Is cold feet really an excuse for violent bad behavior? Sure he apologized, but why should you be so easily convinced to overlook it, or forgive it, let alone give him another chance?

Don't be in a hurry to give him that second chance because sorry is not an adequate enough reason to trust his word he will change and not panic and act a violent arsehole again. Instead slow down and see what he does since moving to fast brings out the worst in him.

Don't think with your heart, or emotions on this one, and stay where you are safe for now. No hurry, and don't be rushed. How old are you both, and how long have you been together? And living together?

Is this his first hint of bad behavior, or just the latest incident? Whatever his excuse, his behavior is usually but a preview for more.