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stargirl2712 · Jul 16, 2012, 10:04 PM

Hey everyone!

My ex and I broke up 7 months ago, but we stayed in close contact for 5 months. He started two-timing me with another girl, so I decided I really need to get space from him. I decided to go NC, but I still had his fb password so I kept checking to see what his intentions were for that girl. I felt so guilty about checking his Facebook that I told him his password got saved onto my computer and that he should change it. He just told me to delete the saved autofill option on my computer so he wouldn't have to change it UGH! But that was more than a month ago. I would not go on it for a week, then I would cave and see if he talked to the girl. It's pure torture because I would feel SO guilty. After some point, I didn't even care if he talked to the girl... I just wanted to make sure my location didn't shop up under the "last account activity" section.

I just know that the guilt is not worth it, so I can easily stop going on his Facebook now. It's so weird he still hasn't changed his password, so I don't even know if he suspects anything. I have this horrible fear that he will go back to school and tell everyone I logged onto his Facebook and it will make me look back. I can easily expose his flaws to everyone too but I just feel like my guilt is eating me up. Yet I'm human!

Am I a bad person? Will these sucky feelings go away?

Fr_Chuck · Jul 16, 2012, 10:24 PM

Confess to him what you have been doing, and get over it. And get over him.

rocketman11 · Jul 17, 2012, 09:02 AM

Originally Posted by stargirl2712

Hey everyone!

My ex and I broke up 7 months ago, but we stayed in close contact for 5 months. He started two-timing me with another girl, so i decided i really need to get space from him. I decided to go NC, but i still had his fb password so i kept checking to see what his intentions were for that girl. I felt so guilty about checking his facebook that I told him his password got saved onto my computer and that he should change it. He just told me to delete the saved autofill option on my computer so he wouldn't have to change it UGH! but that was more than a month ago. I would not go on it for a week, then I would cave and see if he talked to the girl. It's pure torture because I would feel SO guilty. After some point, I didn't even care if he talked to the girl...I just wanted to make sure my location didn't shop up under the "last account activity" section.

I just know that the guilt is not worth it, so I can easily stop going on his facebook now. It's so weird he still hasn't changed his password, so I don't even know if he suspects anything. I have this horrible fear that he will go back to school and tell everyone i logged onto his facebook and it will make me look back. I can easily expose his flaws to everyone too but i just feel like my guilt is eating me up. yet i'm human!

Am I a bad person? will these sucky feelings go away?

You are not a bad person, you were deeply hurt by his actions and you went through what I call the 'stalking phase'. This phase is when you constantly check his Facebook, go to places where he might be, hang aroung near his house e.t.c.(I'm not saying you have done all these things, but some people do). I suggest that you completely cut all communication with him, and even block him on Facebook if necessary.

Yes these feelings WILL go away with time. Remember that time is a healer. Just go with the flow, embrace your emotions and be happy, be sad, cry e.t.c. Blocking all communication will help you to heal, and YOU MUST resist the urge to go on his Facebook account, it will only hinder the healing process.

All the best to you!

stargirl2712 · Jul 17, 2012, 10:52 AM

Thank you so much for replying! It really helped!

I have considered telling him, but I'm so exhausted with the thought of having yet ANOTHER serious conversation with him that I just want to let it go. There's really no way of him proving it really is me because the location under "last account settings" is incorrect. I feel like any heart broken person would've done what I did.

I know that the guilt is not worth it, so I am doing everything in my power to not look again or even communicate with him.

I am definitely suffering from a moral standpoint because I know I am a good person. I just made a small mistake. What is the best thing to do to dissipate that feeling? I do have to face him at college this fall because we have mutual friends. He's done bad stuff too, but I still feel so crummy compared to him.