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    BankaiOP's Avatar
    BankaiOP Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 23, 2012, 05:51 PM
    Am I a fool?
    Okay. Sorry for the long post, but this is my first time every posting a question anywhere about this and I feel like the whole story should be told. Been together with a girl on and off for the past 5 years since we were both in high school and it has brought me to the edge of a lot of things and I just want to know a couple things.

    This all started within our first couple of years of dating. She sent a couple 'pictures' to another guy in our school while we were on a 'break' from fighting and almost never being able to see each other besides in school due to us being from different nationalities (her being Indian and me American). That was whatever to me, I guess, I didn't really look back on it at all.

    Another year goes by and she enters college and I'm at home working to survive. We're only a half hour ago so we have more chances to see each other which really helped. We were happy, having fun a lot (still fought a lot though), and just trying to be a happy couple. She's finishing up her freshman year of college and while she's out with her new college friends at a party, her friends meet a few guys and they all go out to a pizza place together till like, 4 am where I don't hear from her since 12 am that night. After that I find out that she had been texting one of the guys from that night, nothing bad, just casual text/talk on FB. A month goes by and out of nowhere she tells me that she, 'wants to see other people'. It takes me a shock, I'm hurt, yadda yadda.

    She starts dating the new guy and she seems to be doing good while I'm getting over everything. I start to feel good about everything again when she starts texting me again, casual talk at first, then telling me how crappy the relationship is so of course I end up listening and trying to make her feel better because truth be told I still loved her and didn't want to see her hurt. Eventually they break it off and me and her start talking again.

    A month after they end it I come to find out that while she was talking to me, coming over to my place for sex and what not and acting like we were getting back together, I find out that she was talking to him the whole time. Granted he lived 3 hours away so she didn't see him since they ended it, but they did sexual things over cam and whatever. After I find out she breaks down and promises and begs me that she only wants to be with me and blahblahblah. Once again, I go with it because I believed her. She blocks him from everything, shows me that she did, and we start to go back to normal.

    This is where I'm stuck. Should I just move on and completely forget about her? After everything that's happened I'm stuck in a mindset that there is ALWAYS something going on behind my back and it makes her furious at me when I start to think it. Am I in the wrong to think that?

    And that's it. Thank you for your time in reading this and I hope to hear something.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Jun 23, 2012, 06:09 PM
    You are not a fool, just a hopeful romantic and want the love to be real. Its Not, and you have to stop all contact to move on to better things.
    jan4u's Avatar
    jan4u Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jun 23, 2012, 06:21 PM
    It seems to me that you already know you can not trust her and that is because you do not trust yourself at this time. It takes a strong attraction and a deep sense of love that feels "forever" and you both do not like to be apart. Sex does not mean that you are in love and/or really meant for one another.

    When love hits your heart, you will know it and so will she. You might try attending church and learning about God and meet other women who will have the same core values you seek.
    Bouncing around in bed is just so much for what it is. Find a Christian, get to know her, learn about her in many situations. Find someone who knows what it is to work and to survive Don't be a fool as to go after someone who leaves you insecure, or lives on a level that you would like to have, and never had. It does not add value to you as a person. The only value you have is God's love. Put yourself into solid faith values.

    This does not sound like a heathly relationship, and it makes me sad to see you latch on to a person that you do not even trust. She is not your salvation God is and I so wish you would go to God's house and find your answers.

    He will reveal them to you. Don't give up. Think realisticaly about yourself. Praise God and look around you for all the treasures right in front of you but "see" them this time.
    You will be very happy and joyous.

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