[angeleyesdc13]

My current boyfriend and I just got back together a little over a month ago. We dated previously for over a yr. During one of our "breaks" he got another girl pregnant. I was so devastated. When we found out for sure she was pregnant I left him because I couldn't take it. She planned the pregnancy just to keep him and has admitted he may not be the dad.

But he already did a DNA test without her knowing and he is the father. She's so mad he doesn't want to anything to do with her. She makes him drive out of town every week to see him. She refuses to let him take his son anywhere so he stays at her house for hrs. and then leaves but they fight all the time. My problem is whenever they fight he seems to take it out on me. I have tried so hard to help him with any and everything. I don't know how to approach him or this situation because he seems to get more angry and lash out.

[talaniman]

They have a child together no matter the circumstances, and whether they get along or not. For now I would imagine that she will not trust him to take this infant anywhere, and that's understandable in my view, as is him going to visit her to see the child. That may well change as the infant gets older.

If he goes to court and handles his business properly, he gets joint custody, and thats the route to go instead of arguing with her about it, and have set child support. Thats how todays men handle their business with children.

Don't allow him to take his frustrations with her out on you, as this is about HIM handling HIS business. But who else can he vent to? That's also a part of baby mama drama, and its up to you HOW he can bring you into this, and the boundaries of his venting about it.

Have you completely accepted this child, or are you still devastated? Talk, not argue, and work these details out between you, but pay attention while you take his side on everything because when it take two to tango, you can hardly blame everything on just one when its both, but for now, he has little choice but to go along with her program for now. He made his own bed and now he has to deal with it.

Its up to you how much anger, and lashing out you will take from him, and thats the bottom line. If he is unapproachable on this subject, then you let him rant and rave and make NO suggestions, or tell him get away from you with his crap. You didn't get her pregnant, HE DID!!!

[mmresd]

You need to stop trying to fix the problem. The issues with his baby momma are his and hers, not yours. Don't even talk about that, live your life next to him as if it was just the two of you and worry about your problems, support him emotionally if he needs it. If you feel like this is overwhelming, then you need to break up with him and find someone that is not carrying so much baggage.