[onequestion420]

Here is my story:

I dated this girl for a year, it has been 6 months since we broke up. She is 22, I am 25, she is in law school and I work.

We had a great relationship, madly in love, were always together, practically lived together, I treated her incredibly well, supported her, was romantic, tried my best to make her happy. Never cheated on her nor flirted with other girls, I thought she was the woman I would marry.

Problems started when she went to law school, she had less time and more stress, I was supportive and helped her through it. Then I began to struggle with my career and had sort of a mid-life crisis that didn't allow me to give her the attention she wanted. Small fights began, I blamed it on myself, tried talking to her and fix our problems but we kept spiraling down, holding grudges, making assumptions, having discussions.

I asked her if we could take a break but she didn't want to and a month later she broke up with me, she said I needed to figure my life out. We kept seeing each other for some time, we lived in the same building and always bumped into each other. Two months after the breakup I asked her to get back and she said no, I told her I had found the answers I needed but she said "she was in a good place", she was happy traveling and partying with friends and had nothing to worry about because her daddy gave her everything she needed (trips to vegas, travel, clothes, etc), me on the other hand was heart broken and trying to figure my life out.

I tried showing her how we could have a beautiful relationship, I kept being nice to her and doing romantic things but the more I did the further I pushed her away. Eventually she started to ignore me, it was too much for me so I moved to another city. I called her once after that telling her I wanted to at least be friends and she said "she wasn't friends with her exs", and when I told her I thought maybe we could try to get back together after some time she said "don't say that". She deleted me from Facebook and since then I haven't contacted her again, it has been a months since the last time we talked.

I am a bit mad for how she treated me, I feel like she kept me around until she felt better and once she did she blew me away, she said it was "weird" I was still loving her and treating her nice. I feel used, she seems happy running around spending daddy's money and living an awesome life while I am in a new city trying to figure my life out.

These are the questions I would like to answer:
1. Will she contact me again? If she does, should I ignore her, be nice or blow her off?

2. Will she one day really understand what I went through, how poorly she treated me and realize she lost a great man who was willing to do anything for her?

3. Was she a manipulative/selfish girlfriend or are these just my post-breakup feelings?

4. Is she really moved on or did she go do all this fun stuff and pretend to have a great life just to cover up her feelings of sadness?

5. Will she ever realize that she abandoned me and failed to be supportive in the hardest moment of my life?

[mmresd]

Go no contact, this is what you should have done the moment she broke up with you. She is enjoying being single, if you love her, you should respect her decision. It is time to move on buddy.

[C0bra_M3nace]

1. Will she contact me again? If she does, should I ignore her, be nice or blow her off?

Probably not, because she actually seems to follow the no contact rule.

2. Will she one day really understand what I went through, how poorly she treated me and realize she lost a great man who was willing to do anything for her?

Maybe, but it would be too late anyways.

3. Was she a manipulative/selfish girlfriend or are these just my post-breakup feelings?

Most definately post break-up feelings, you both weren't meant to be. Leave it at that.

4. Is she really moved on or did she go do all this fun stuff and pretend to have a great life just to cover up her feelings of sadness?

She's moving on, she's done everything right, and is continuing to. She's not talking to you, and trying to move on and forget. Which is what you should have been doing the momet she left.

5. Will she ever realize that she abandoned me and failed to be supportive in the hardest moment of my life?

Not really, because in her mind she was also going through hard times, and maybe she feels as if you weren't supporting her from the sounds of things.


Move on buddy, forget, and meet new people. There's always someone out there, someone who will appreciate the things you bring to the table, and vise versa. Go try some new things, and meet new people. When one door closes, another one opens, go through it and open some more. You never know what you could find.

[talaniman]

These are the questions I would like to answer:
1. Will she contact me again? If she does, should I ignore her, be nice or blow her off?
NO! If she does its because she feels sorry you are not man enough to make adjustments on your own. In that case listen, and don't do the begging thing, that will disgust her and convince her the choice to leave was not only a good one, but a great one.

2. Will she one day really understand what I went through, how poorly she treated me and realize she lost a great man who was willing to do anything for her?
You weren't such a great guy when she dumped you. Matter of fact you needed a break because you had issues.

3. Was she a manipulative/selfish girlfriend or are these just my post-breakup feelings?
She was just a person in a relationship whose partner had problems and she bailed after YOU needed a break. Well you got one so get your lie together. Not blame her for being tired of your issues.

4. Is she really moved on or did she go do all this fun stuff and pretend to have a great life just to cover up her feelings of sadness?
No she has moved on to better things, and when you get your head together and get off the pity pot, so will you.

5. Will she ever realize that she abandoned me and failed to be supportive in the hardest moment of my life?
Break ups happen all the time and you started pushing her away before she dumped you and then you pushed her away again, so get off this blaming her for your actions, and the misery you are going thru. You ran to another city, and took your attitude, and misery with you instead of facing your issues and working to overcome them. So stop crying over this failed experiment, and do the work it takes to rebuild yourself, and get better like you should have 6 months ago.

Break ups suck, and its worse when you continue to wallow in your own sh!t, and refuse to take responsibility for your own actions. Now get over it, and get your life in order. Women, and men change feelings all the time. But I have always believed in putting your best foot forward, no matter what, in case they want to take a second look, OR someone wants a first look.

Sorry for your loss, but handle your business. This is but the first of many learning experiences, there will be many more, its just real life and reality. You have a whole world to explore and experiment, and its time to get beyond past failures, and work for future success.