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para-noir · Apr 30, 2012, 08:46 AM

I have been involved with someone for the last 4 months, the first 2 was a friends with benefits situation because he was moving out of state. We did get pretty close and there were things that went on that was more than just sex (though unbeknownst to me until recently, he was sleeping around even when he and I were). A bit later we both admit we have feelings for each other and decide that I move up there with him when he was ready, he even wanted to pay for my ticket. That was two months ago, he asked if I wanted to commit long distance but my gut feeling told me he wouldn't be able to help himself if I wasn't there. And it happened. Even all the while saying he loved me, and getting upset if I were to do anything with someone else, etc. I honestly don't think he would do this in a real committed relationship, I know he was with someone for 3 years and my guess it ended badly because of his ex and this is why he's become extremely promiscuous. But I'm confused between wanting to forgive because we weren't technically committed or ending it all together. Should I cut him out or work it out? I really love him and deep down I believe he feels the same, out of all the girls he's been with, he wanted me to move in with him. I don't understand.

talaniman · Apr 30, 2012, 09:01 AM

I think you leave him alone as he is who he is and the more for him the merrier. He has always been that way, and will be for a long time to come.

JJAGGS · Apr 30, 2012, 09:32 PM

Girl, you can and do deserve much better. Chin-up and stop this non-sense. You should not waste any more of your time. You CAN and will do way better, you'll see.

none12345 · Apr 30, 2012, 10:06 PM

No this is not cheating because you two weren't together and not committed. You probably feel like you've been played but this is what happens in a friend with benefits relationship. The worse thing to happen in this type of relationship is when one or both starts to develop feelings for the other. That is the first sign that you two should break up. The second sign is that, this seems to be his lifestyle and if you choose to take your relationship to the committed level, I am sure you won't be able to handle that you won't be the only girl in his life, especially since you came on here seeking for answers. In short, move on.