[queswhy]

I love a girl who is my colleague. Though we never spoke. I can often see her looking at me when I am not watching her and quickly removes her eyes when I catch her doing this. Once I walked up and told her that I want to talk to her but she said busy now later. But she never talked to me again. I thought its negative but she continues looking at me but rejects stares one to one and sometimes showing as if she is irritated. I have no clue over this behavior and in total confusion. I really really don't know what she wants. Can anybody tell me why is she doing this? Is she just playing with me or she really likes me?

[TheHelperK]

Well my friend ,truthfully she's giving you the eye and your giving her what she wants by looking back at her, make her fight for you to look at her, if you know she's doing it, ignore it. It'll make her want you & next time, remember were men, we don't ask a female if we can talk to her, its like asking permission to do something which is very unattractive to most women. Women like men with confidence, next time just talk to her, don't ask, it can be over any little thing you can find to talk about. Make sure to keep eye contact with her and if YOU feel that its going great, tell her that you'll take her out for coffee or lunch and if she says no, its her lost!

[Cat1864]

May I ask what culture you come from? I ask because usually culture (including traditions and religion) plays a very big part in what advice to give. Most times when I have encountered a question where the person asking for advice is convinced 'he' loves a 'girl' who he hasn't talked to or doesn't know, the person has a very unrealistic view of personal contact with someone of the opposite sex.

You don't know her as a person. You know her as a concept of who you think she is based on her appearance and possibly seeing her interact in a class. You are 'in love' with a fantasy. Recognize this before you try approaching her again, if you do. If you don't control what you think your feeling are, you will come across as too intent and not as someone she wants to get to know. Do not attempt to force eye contact if she doesn't want to or if there may be cultural reasons for eye contact to be discouraged. If she is uncomfortable with eye contact, trying to keep it when she looks away will cause her to run away even if she is interested in you.

Keep in mind that she may have a boyfriend. Depending on your culture, she may even be promised in marriage to someone.

Why not try to make friends instead of trying to make a conquest? Say 'hello'. Ask about classes. Get to know her as a person instead of a pair of eyes you think are watching you.

[talaniman]

She doesn't know you but you have starts in your eyes. Can you talk to her like a normal colleague? Just say HI!

[elliot2000]

You are stuck in a game of "cat and mouse" and the only way to win is by changing things up. If you are too scared to ask her out directly then you need to at least begin talking with her. Be confident and friendly. Don't ask permission to talk to her privately. Just walk up and ask how her day is going. Introduce yourself and find some common ground to chit-chat about.

In other words, break the ice. The staring game will get you nowhere.