[stormnhail]

Ok. Long story much shorter. I have this fiancé that I've been engaged to for 5 years, and been together for just over 6. Known each other for even longer. I love him but it seems like things are falling out of touch from sex to daily life. We have 2 kids together. I was ready to get married when we first got engaged, now I'm not so sure. I get so irritated by little things lately and he is always controlling what I do. He always checks my phone, gets jealous when I run into a guy I work with, or used to be friends with, and even gets upset if I stop by my moms after work (who also is going through trouble with stepdad).

He says my priorities are wrong. He gets mad if I'm texting anyone. We seems to argue about the littlest crap, and he always is the one that says he not happy because I don't satisfy him, meaning we don't have enough sex, which we really don't do often.

Bigger problem is this man I met through work has been popping in, and out of my mind. I don't know if its because how this new man treats me, or I'm just that unhappy. Weird thing is I haven't seen this man in almost 2 years! When I did see him he gave me warm feelings, and I was attracted to him. We both flirted a lot when we saw each other. He works for a vendor through work, so I only seen him 1 time a week. Now he and I got promoted so we don't see each other anymore. I figured that was best for my relationship because he didn't have a girlfriend at that time. But now I can't stop thinking about him.

Let me back track a little more. Before he got promoted he asked me for my number and I pretended I didn't hear him. Next time I seen him he seemed mad at me and I felt bad and had even more of an attraction to him. I know a lot about him. We talked a lot. He loves to do a lot of the same things I love to do, but don't get to do. It almost seems like a fantasy.

I wish I could just give my fiancé my all but once I try, and it works for a while, it goes right back to where it was. These 2 men have 2 completely different personalities also. This other man is 13 years older than me, and my fiancé is 10 years older than me, not that it matters, but my fiancé seems to act like he's 18.

I feel like he's acting like my dad never really did. What's a gal to do?

[mmresd]

Stay single, figure out what YOU want. It seems that you are trying to fit and satisfy a man that is controlling and manipulative, that only fuels him. And the other guy, unless he is still part of your life you need to put your feet on the ground and stop daydreaming. Take care of your children, and talk over with your fiancée, tell him that you are not feeling good about the relationship. If he is willing to work at it, then go ahead, if he is not, then it is time to say goodbye. Do NOT allow him to continue with his manipulative ways of checking up on you, and do not allow the jealousy to go on either.

[talaniman]

Its no wonder you have another guy on your mind because the one you are with is a boob! That's human in down times or bad situations. You get along with a passing stranger and he gives you attention so of course it feels good, and you are intrigued. You want more, or at least some of that from your guy, but don't get enough from him. Dissapointing I know.

Fact is you know nothing of this stranger, or what kind of partner, or father he will be, yet you put him on a pedestal anyway, a great fantasy to escape reality.

But you deal with reality by stopping this 6 year fiancé from controlling you, and allowing his insecurities to bring you down. How? Stand up to him more, as you do when he changes a bit, and remind him his insecurity is showing, and you don't like it. Pack up and leave him, and don't go back until you are sure he is doing something about it. Break off the engagement, 5/6 years is way to long to have a fiancé. But don't consider marriage to a guy who fails to own responsibility for his own behavior, and does something about it. LONG TERM!

If you have done these things, and it doesn't work, then neither will wasting more time in this.

Now what's your part in all this, as seldom is one partner worse than the other one.

[stormnhail]

Thanks for the feedbacks.we are going through this again. We have been sleeping in separate rooms the last 3 days.we don't talk and I don't even want to look at him. I'm so frustrated. Ive been giving this a lot of attention that he wouldn't talk but now he won't give in and even say a word I'm playing same sickening game. To keep my mind off this I've been trying to stay busy. Eeeh! On top of it all I've been going through a lot of health problems too since October.I still get the off balance feeling and the "not here feeling". I almost feel like it gets worse when were arguing,which seems to be a lot. Which is why I'm even bringing it up. I feel like it could be from anxiety. I'm just dissapointed in my relationship. And I needed some advice. Someone to exchange thoughts. Thanks again!