[Lynn1979]

Dating for 5 years.

[talaniman]

What's so complicated? How old are you? Details please.

[Lynn1979]

Brief lifestyle description. I have been with my boyfriend on and off for five years. He is a police officer and I am a civil service worker. We are both mid 30's no children. I have 2 dogs. He lives with his parents. I have my own apartment.

So the problem is my boyfriend John is not trying to move forward with me. He sleeps here with me eats here showers here. He goes home to do laundry and get fresh clothes for the week in which he keeps in a pile in a corner of my bedroom. He is selfish says my dogs are a hassle and we only do things he wants to do.

I know this relationship is not good for me. I think about all the bad things to motivate me to step away from him. As I previously said we have broken up several time but he always comes back and I take him back.

Most women would have walked away along time ago. Why can't I? I am hurt miserable and sad with him feel the same when I'm not. I do love him and care for him but he is not worth all of this emotion and frustration. On top of it all he is overweight, spoiled, low testosterone which he does nothing about so no sex, high blood pressure and lime disease. He told me today he will not marry me nor have children he wants me in his life and to just live together. Honestly I was broken hearted all over again.

What am I doing why can't I let go? I need help figuring this out.

Sorry first time here incomplete post

[Swiss_Ms.B]

Lynn1979,
You are torturing yourself! I bet you are a wonderful person, but you are not treating yourself well. Why do you love him again? Be careful, you are developing a pattern, leaving him, then taking him back... what do you need? Imagine yourself on your own. What is hard for you when you are single? Then, how would your ideal relationship (with a dream guy) look like.
Breaking up, no matter what the guy is like, it's hard and requires a time to greave.
The guy seems to have it made for himself. HE ain't going to change, honey!! Not as long as he keeps getting what pleases him.
You obviously would like to have a family, someone who looooooves your dogs as if they were his and someone who does not take advantage of others to have a comfotable life.
There is without a doubt someone like that out there. You need to give yourself the chance to meet the guy. And your future guy will thank you for being available!
My suggestion, talk to your close friends (I hope you have some) and plan to end your relationship with their support AND plan what you will do on your own, for yourself, and with your friends to treat yourself well during your greaving period - and it's OK to be miseable for a while! Then find a course or a trip with your dogs AND do something that will give you more confidence. Embrace who you are and feel good about yourself.

[Homegirl 50]

You're in your mid 30s and have been with him for quite a while. That is a hard habit to break but it is a bad habit you need to break.
You two are not on the same page and he does not care to get on your's. Care more about yourself than you do about him. Let him out and lock the revolving door.

[SentientAndroid]

Sweet Jesus! Please get out of this relationship asap! You're only hurting yourself, he already told you that you guys don't have a future together, no kids, no marriage, he still stays with his parents... I've heard that some people allow themselves to be in a bad relationship due to phenomenal sex, but you're not even getting that.

Please do yourself a favor and detach yourself from this guy for GOOD today. You could've potentially been with a great guy with a good paying job, his own place, unselfish along with a good sex drive 4 years ago.

Pros Cons
... Selfish
Lazy
Stays at home with his parents and he's 30+
Horrible sex life
Spoiled
Overweight (not saying that's a deal breaker, but still... )
Lime Disease(?)
He doesn't want to marry you... EVER
He doesn't want kids... EVER

What is he good for? Name a few pros and compare them to the cons and that's your answer right there.

[indya]

5 years? I mean seriously 5 years!

Kick him out, he's no good. This time don't take him back. This is just plain torture, what he's doing to you. C'on you deserve much much better than this.

Break off with him. Keep it short and simple. You have more than enough reasons to just dump him. Then go and pamper yourself in a spa, have lots of chocolates(forget weight for a while), learn how wonderful this life is, and enjoy yourself with this jerk.

Love and best wishes!!