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zuzuxx · Oct 16, 2011, 01:06 PM

My boyfriend keeps saying that he is fed up with being in a relationship. Whenever we have an argument, he always says that he wants a breakup and that we are not suited for each other. But sometimes he says he loves me and I know that he loves me so much because he does stuff for me like washing, cooking, picking me up from college, etc.

Whenever I don't feel his love, he says that I'll never understand his love for me, yet he wants to break up when we fight. He keeps saying that we are intellectually incompatible and that we don't click when it comes to intellectual discussions. And whenever he does something to hurt me, he never acknowledges that he is wrong and that is always me who is wrong and that I fail to understand him.

We have broken up at least 10 times before, and its always me who apologies and says sorry since he will never call me back or text me. This is killing me. He doesn't even miss me when we break up. I am so confused. I don't want to break up, since I love him so much and have been unable to do so before this.

Is something wrong with him? I don't know what to do best in this kind of situation. I feel like I have reached my saturation point, yet I am unable to leave him. And I don't know what's his side of the story is.

Please help me... Thank you.

vanheart · Oct 16, 2011, 02:41 PM

"We have broken up at least 10 times before"

Did you ever think that you may be with the wrong person?

Hes not 100% invested in you. At some point, you have to cut your losses & decide what makes you happy.

Doesn't sound like he does.

Healthy couples communicate, work together & have goals.

Don't wait for breakup #11

talaniman · Oct 16, 2011, 04:41 PM

He has dumped you 10 times??

What's wrong with YOU??

zuzuxx · Oct 16, 2011, 11:21 PM

No, he didn't dumped me. We decided to break up. Its always a mutual consent but its always me who says I can't do it and starts over again. We had an argument again a few days back and we are not talking. Am sure it will be me again to say sorry and make things OK again. I feel like an emotional wreck.

talaniman · Oct 17, 2011, 11:35 AM

Don't be so desperate that you keep doing the same thing over, and over, and expect different results. That's pure insanity, and no wonder you are an emotional wreck, I would be too, if I mutually agreed to break up and had to run back to the fool, apologize, until the next MUTUAL BREAK UP!

You are stuck in a cycle of defeat, and to break that cycle, you have to first do things that give you your dignity, and self respect back, like letting him wonder for a change why you are NOT chasing him with your tail between your legs and apologizing to him... yet again.

That's not a healthy relationship, and you don't need him to be happy, he needs you! So take your power back, and do things without him, so you can be happy, and NOT sorry.

Why not let him come to you for a change, or are you afraid he won't?

zuzuxx · Oct 18, 2011, 06:11 AM

I am afraid he won't. He is the kind of fellow who doesn't cry over spilled milk. He told me that if we break up he will not come chasing after me again. A man of his words I guess..

talaniman · Oct 18, 2011, 10:40 AM

Maybe you should stop arguing and do as he says his way and then you don't have to break up and apologize. All he wants is a good slave so he can be master.

Let me know when you get tired of kissing his butt, and want some dignity and self respect again, and I will tell you how to take your heart back from this domineering boob.

Love doesn't have to be degrading you know. But that's what your future with him is going to be.

Just curious as to what your family thinks of this relationship? Is this an Asian, Or Indian culture? Muslim perhaps? There has to be a cultural thing I may be overlooking here.