[Judin1987]

Last year in October I broke my engagement because my girl cheated on me in many ways. Now I've met this girl we've been dating for about 11 months. The thing is she treats me well. I love her a lot but the thing is she doesn't say she loves me. Only when she's drunk she said she love me. I've ask her why she didn't say she loves me when she's sober but she remains quiet. Recently we had an argument about not trusting her. She told me she went to meet one of her guy friends and went out drinking. I said okay. A few hours passed and she still has not come home yet. I called her she didn't pick up my calls. Called about 10 times. Half hour later she called back and said she didn't hear my call. She said she's been walking for quite some distance with the guy and talking. I've scolded her she said I'm paranoid and do not trust her. I don't trust her at all. One of her friends from overseas came and wants her to be his partner to one of the weddings. One thing I dislike about her is when she's out with some guy she seem to forget me. She didn't even message me then we argue more. She said I'm insecure and really controlling. All of the arguments I had with her is about me not trusting her. I need advice. Am I in the wrong or is it both parties. I can't sleep well because of these problems. Help me please. I am on the verge of depression because of this.

[vanheart]

Sounds to me like you got with 2 girls that aren't right
That's OK. Ive been with way more that weren't right.

Maybe be single. Stop jumping into serious relationships willy nilly. That crazy & bad for you.
Making plans in your head, before you are ready. Or even got to know someone. That's half the point.

That takes time.

Get your act together first, before bringing someone else in. Know you. Investigate yourself.
You'll know when they come along.

No worry, or rush. Just be cool.
You got plenty of time.

[Judin1987]

Maybe you are right. I guess I'll just have to play along with the game and expect less. So I hurt less.

[vanheart]

There's no game you have to play. What? Winners & losers? Break even?

You can remove all of the drama at the flip of a switch, if you want.

No games. Or expectations.

Just you, man. And your happiness.

Learn from these 2 girls. And why got got & stayed with them.
You aren't happy now. That's for sure.

[Judin1987]

I am still not sure. I have talked to her once about this and she told me she had a bad relationship before and still not ready in one yet... but I can see that she really cares for me and would do anything for me, but only when come to her going out with someone else she tends to ignore me. Sometimes I try to understand her. The fact Is I don't. That is why I am in this predicament.

[vanheart]

"I am still not sure" That's the whole point.

I got that. Did you? Really? Im mean really?

Don't waste you time making the same mistakes & chasing girls that don't know.
When you don't really know.

No sense beating your head against the wall. Now is it?

All you know is that this doesn't make you feel good.
Whatever you think that you want.

That's a fantasy.

"I can see that she really cares for me and would do anything for me, but only when come to her going out with someone else she tends to ignore me"

That's not doing everything for you, now is it?

If she really wanted you (which she doesnt), sorry, then you would be happily together.
Not worrying about else's. Not posting here.

I would take a serious chill pill. Like I said before.

Try being single for a while. Get your ducks together.

Then date some new girls. As many as you want.

[Judin1987]

Okay man thanks for the advice. You are absolutely right and I agree with you. The problem lies with me. I need to change my mindset. Yes I have to take a chill pill. I just have to hang out with my friends.

[vanheart]

Cool, do that.

[Judin1987]

How am I supposed to hate her since I've already love her with all my heart. I know it's my mistake to really love her but I now want to know the way to hate her.

[talaniman]

You don't have to hate someone to leave them alone and work on yourself.

[Judin1987]

So I just have to talk with her and break it off with her in a nice way.

[JoeCanada76]

There is no such thing as a nice way to break it off with someone. Just be truthful. No playing games. Straight forward. It is time to end it, time to move on. That is it.

[Judin1987]

I know... but I love her too much... I just think it will take time for me to forget her... and I need some advice what should I do?

[talaniman]

Give yourself some time, by getting busy with other things that have nothing to do with her. Like friends, family, and activities that make you happy.

That's how I get certain girls off my mind so others have a chance to be seen, and rebuild self confidence.

[Judin1987]

What If she calls and wants to meet up? I can make excuses but if she keeps on calling and irritate the **** out of me what should I do then?

[vanheart]

Dude, this girl isn't for you.
Neither was the last one.

Don't answer her calls. Go NC. Give yourself a bit of peace of mind for a while.

You sound desperate for more BS.

This isn't making you happy. Now is it?

Disappear for a while. Do your own thing. Friends, family, fun stuff.

[talaniman]

Don't answer her calls. If she bugs you tell her to stop. Man up, who is in control here?

[JoeCanada76]

She has all the control. It is so obvious. I think he is looking for excuses to let her back in again. All this going back and forth is not helping anybody in this thread or in this case.

Man, Not really. I do not see it. There is no will power. End it. That is it. Block her number, put a restraining order up. Who cares, just stop with the excuses and the what ifs. It is over. Make it Clear. End it. No more contact.

[Judin1987]

I'm sorry guys... what all of u said is true... I'll do that... I need a piece of mind... tq for understanding