[KittyW]

I just can't decided on which guy is right for me. Here is it. I meet back up w/ BF @ our 20th class reunion. Who's happiness always meant more to me then my own. He never knew just how I really felt about him. As he was getting on the plane to go home he called me & told me He was in Love w/ me. Had been since high School. So we talked allot for 6 years. Then 3 years ago I went to see him (long Distance relationship) We became a couple. I have plans set to move to his state. Well this past summer my Ex who I have been Divorced from for 16 years (father of my children). Has been coming around to see our kids & grandchild. Realized that he was still in love w/ me & broke off his engagement so he can work on a relationship w/ me. Now the problem is I Love Both men. I just don't want to be the Old Shoe, Or the New Mommy. Both Men mean so much to be. The one in the other state leave our hometown to join the service when he seen that I had married (the ex) & had a child.

[Jake2008]

I would say that before you turn your life upside down and risk involving yourself with either of the two men, give yourself time to think.

There are reasons not stated, as to why your marriage did not work out. There are also reasons this man from your past was not to be, back when you decided to marry another, all those years ago.

Perhaps loving one man or the other, won't work out- again, no matter who you choose. Maybe making a choice right at this moment in time is emotionaly motivated, rather than practically motivated. You don't have the luxury of being with the high school sweetheart without serious changes to your children's lives as well, particularly because there is a move involved. And what is to say that your ex husband would approve of you moving them away, now that he wants to be involved in their lives again. I don't know what your original custody arrangement was- I'm thinking that you just can't up and move.

So what to do. If your ex husband, and the old flame do not know about each other, that might be where to start. Give yourself time to determine how sincere your ex is, particularly with now having relationships with your children, and tell your flame, that the children have to come first, and you want to see where this goes. It could all peter out just as it did once before.

I would also let your ex know that you have a relationship with another man that is becoming serious, but you are not going to make any serious decisions until you are sure.

That way, both men also have options, because the truth is on the table.

With that being said, and all three adults on the same page with what you have decided to do- give yourself time to figure out what is in your best interests and the children's. You just delay making a choice.

[talaniman]

You have already chosen. What's thrown a wrench in the works is the ex husband making his push. That's my guess. If you and the ex husband haven't reconnected in 16 years, I doubt it wise to put your plans on hold to try yet again.

When unsure, back up, and mull this over some more, and see if some additional facts come to light.

[KittyW]

Thank You Jake 2008 & Talaniman. I forgot to say that my children are now grown. I waited till the last one went off to college. The reason the man from high School & I were B/F we never dated. We dated others. I the Ex & I got pregnant the summer I finished school. So when The B/F seen that I married this man He left to got into the service. Thought that he had lost out on his change w/ me. I didn't move to be w/ him because I wanted to wait till my last child was out of high school. In the mean time my oldest moved back in w/ her family. House is just to big to be here by myself. The Ex we married too young & started a family then. Too much drinking. & now is sober See why I can't choose.

[mudweiser]

When choosing between two hearts the best one to choose is your own!

I think it's time for you to find yourself and focus on yourself.

The right choice will happen and when it happens it will be a lot clearer to you.

For you to have to sit there and try to choose between A & B should tell you that you are not ready for a relationship just yet.

[talaniman]

House is just to big to be here by myself.

You should be happy without the having to choose. Being happy by yourself makes better choices for you.

What's the hurry? Take your own sweet time to make your choices, based on facts, and not just feelings.

If the house is to big for you, get out on your own. Explore your world, experiment, choose later.