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munchies_wolf · Jul 3, 2011, 05:03 AM

He says don't make me choose between you and her because it's going to be her, and I care about you but I want you to find a nice guy? Please do it for me

amicon · Jul 3, 2011, 05:40 AM

Are you saying he's dating you and someone else?

Or is he married and cheating on his wife?

More details,please.

J_9 · Jul 3, 2011, 05:54 AM

Then don't make him choose. Kick the loser to the curb and find someone who will love you and only you.

Cat1864 · Jul 3, 2011, 05:58 AM

I agree more details would be very helpful. Are you the partner who is being 'cheated' on? Is he a friend who you have stronger feelings for than he does for you? So many different possible scenarios.

However, the advice is probably going to come down to making the choice for him. If there is another woman and he has such strong feelings for her, why stay with him? It sounds like he has all but ended the relationship with you. Why not end any confusion you are feeling and let go?

Is there a reason to hold on to someone who doesn't appear to want to want you? Even if children are involved, parents do not have to be a couple to raise them.

munchies_wolf · Jul 3, 2011, 06:29 AM

I'm saying we have been out for about a month, and when I wanted to get back together he told me this

munchies_wolf · Jul 3, 2011, 06:29 AM

We went out a while, no children involved, and we've been out for a while, and when I wanted to make things right he told me the things mentioned above

Fr_Chuck · Jul 3, 2011, 06:32 AM

Seems he has chosen, he wants the other girl as his main one, but will see you on the side.

Sounds like a great winner

amicon · Jul 3, 2011, 06:35 AM

Then he's already made his choice-her-so leave it in the past and start moving on.

talaniman · Jul 3, 2011, 08:06 AM

Leave him alone, his choice is already made and its not you.

munchies_wolf · Jul 3, 2011, 08:36 AM

After breaking up with a bf/gf is a rebound suited to help the healing process?

statesgirl · Jul 3, 2011, 09:43 AM

Yeah a rebound helps because you don't feel lonely. But its unfair to the rebound because usually they are falling for the rebounder.

amicon · Jul 3, 2011, 09:53 AM

You heal first-get a life where you're happy with yourself,having worked through the baggage before you start looking for a new relationship.

Also,rebounding most often means somebody gets hurt-most likely the new person.

Unfair and unjust.

talaniman · Jul 3, 2011, 02:22 PM

No its not helpful to rebound to another person when a relationship ends. It only slows down the healing process, and complicates your life by using someone for your own selfish purpose.

Unfair, and dishonest in the long run.

Cat1864 · Jul 3, 2011, 03:33 PM

Does a rebound relationship really work to get over someone?

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After breaking up with a bf/gf is a rebound suited to help the healing process?

Using someone to get over another person is not good in anyway nor is it acceptable behavior.

Think about this: We have told you to leave your ex alone because he seems willing to use you even though he has found a new woman. Would you want to be the cause of making another person feel used?

Don't try getting into another relationship until you have given yourself time to let the past go. You do not want to push your baggage on to another person because you didn't give yourself time to heal and be ready to move forward.

Do get out and be involved in your life. Break ups are hard on the self-esteem. Hobbies, clubs, exercise, etc. can give you outlets to help keep you too busy to think about him and to help build up your relationship with yourself. The more secure you are with yourself, the less likely you will be insecure in your next relationship.

Take time to take care of yourself.