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stronger · Jun 11, 2011, 09:46 PM

My ex broke up with me due to his other obligations with family and ex a month ago. He insisted on being friends. We stayed in touch with minimal emails and met up after three weeks. He said he missed me and my companion ship last week, hugged me, then couldn't stop and almost took me to bed but the I stopped him.

This weekend I stopped by his place to drop things off, we talked and said how hard it is to stay just friends because we still have feelings for each other. He's in no position to get back now either so I didn't want to push it.

I told him I want to be friends to give him time and space to take care of his things, but eventually I want to get back together. He objected to seeing every week because he can't control himself of not being touchy with me. Then as we talked, we hugged, then next thing we slept together at the heat of the moment. I want to get back with him but seems like I just messed up my chance.

Perhaps I should move on since he said he doesn't want me to wait for him since he doesn't know when he'll recover from his own mess. Help!

BK201 · Jun 11, 2011, 10:15 PM

There you go, you know the answer by yourself. Move on, there is no point in meeting him (sleeping with him aside) when you know that things are not going to work out anyway. It is not even a love bipolar. It is a decided break up. Suggest, stay out of touch until you really have moved on.

amicon · Jun 12, 2011, 02:33 AM

Stay away from him-you're broken up.

FWB is a bad place to be-go no contact and heal.

Get to know new people and get your own life back on track.

stronger · Jun 12, 2011, 06:14 AM

I'm totally not a FWB type of girl. Yes, I did feel like crap today because I can't let go of why we did that? I was recovering fine w/ NC for three weeks and now this threw me off again. Ok... time to forgive and forget everything... need to get back on track to take care of myself, regain confident, put out the better me inside out. I can do this... time to start a new and beautiful chapter in life.

BK201 · Jun 12, 2011, 06:16 AM

Way to go. Wishes for your new and beautiful chapter.

stronger · Jun 12, 2011, 06:29 AM

It really hurt deep down though. Especially when I went to a friend's wedding last night, the seating had his and my name on it (but he wasn't with me), and the view was next to the light house when we had our first official date. Yesterday was the first time that I felt like the relationship was trully over. I haven't cried since a month ago but as I'm posting this, I just let the tears come out because I know that there is no turning back.

amicon · Jun 12, 2011, 06:37 AM

Those feelings are normal-you're grieving a loss and just let that take the time needed-whilst making sure

You're doing things that help you stay upbeat.

BK201 · Jun 12, 2011, 06:47 AM

Good you let out the tears. You are stronger than you know and you will be up on your feet sooner than you know. Have a good time with friends, it really helps a lot rather than being alone.

stronger · Jun 12, 2011, 06:51 AM

We have the same hobbies, hang out with the same group of friends, etc... it will be just very awkward and tough to go through this.

BK201 · Jun 12, 2011, 07:08 AM

In case of an unavoidable confrontation and situation which leads you to talk to him, think about the future, and the way you felt like crap today. Will be tough, but have to go through.

amicon · Jun 12, 2011, 07:11 AM

Be polite but distant if you can't avoid him.

talaniman · Jun 12, 2011, 03:38 PM

Originally Posted by stronger

I'm totally not a FWB type of girl. Yes, I did feel like crap today because I can't let go of why we did that? I was recovering fine w/ NC for three weeks and now this threw me off again. Ok...time to forgive and forget everything....need to get back on track to take care of myself, regain confident, put out the better me inside out. I can do this....time to start a new and beautiful chapter in life.

Great decision, stick to it, and good luck.

stronger · Jun 13, 2011, 06:42 PM

Surprisingly... feeling much better now after a few days...

BK201 · Jun 13, 2011, 10:03 PM

That's how it has to be. Once my teacher told me, you do something forcibly for a month, whether you like it or not, it will become a habit. She told it, so we would do our homeworks everyday. But it can be applied anywhere. Keep up the good work.

amicon · Jun 14, 2011, 12:23 AM

Good news!

Keep going.

stronger · Jun 15, 2011, 08:31 PM

I still think about him everyonce in a while. Planning to attend a volleyball event this weekend with the group that I normally go with, and he's going to be there as well since he's part of it. I plan to act cool and just play my part since that is our mutual group of sport friends. Just sport then leave, no lunch, dinner or anything after... I'm already in the letting go mindset so I hope playing in the same sport group might not affect me too much while I'm on NC with everything else.

A good friend asked me to go see bridesmaides movie w/ him a few days ago and that was fun. He was definitely hitting me but I'm totally not in the mindset of dating right now, just want to have friends and time alone to improve myself and resolve my own issues.