 |
|
|
 |
New Member
|
|
May 4, 2011, 02:30 PM
|
|
I have feelings for someone else...
I have recently discovered I have feelings for another person other than my boyfriend. I have been with my boyfriend for just over 2 years now, we have always been happy together and I always thought he was the one - I still believe he is, I just don't know if I want that at the moment.
I am 17 years old, and a couple of months ago I went on a school trip when I started getting really close with this other guy. I don't know about him, but I felt 'chemistry' and we spent lots of time together. When I got back, it felt weird hugging my boyfriend in front of him and I have never been able to get as close with my boyfriend since.
I would rather spend time with this other guy. I think it's just a crush and I really want to marry by boyfriend as he is simply perfect. However, at the moment I am constantly causing arguments and constantly thinking about the other guy.
I feel as though I want to be single now, and later in life want to be with my boyfriend - but I know this also isn't possible. My boyfriend is going to Uni in September, so I don't know whether just to let him go then; I just know that he won't let that happen. It's as if I am scared to hurt his feelings as I do not want to lose him. But I also want to stop feeling guilty about this other guy too.
Please help me and give me your opinions
|
|
 |
Expert
|
|
May 4, 2011, 02:50 PM
|
|
You want to explore, then deal with your boyfriend first, and don't make temptation make you a cheater, who already feels guilty.
Break ups suck, but no where as bad as being a lying cheater. Just be honest with Mr. Perfect, as you have as much say in what happens as he does.
|
|
 |
Uber Member
|
|
May 4, 2011, 02:55 PM
|
|
You are at an age where dating different people is normal so that you can have a chance to see what you like and don't like. See the different characteristics other people may have to offer.
It is normal to find other people attractive, even enjoy a little crush, but if you find yourself thinking about them frequently, considering whether you want to remain with the person you are in a relationship with over it, then it may be a sign that you shouldn't be exclusive right now.
See how things go... give it a couple of months for example. If the feelings pass, it was simply a passing attraction. Cute guy, but you wouldn't give up your boyfriend for him. If you continue to think about him, and find it hard to be with your boyfriend, it might be time to have a talk with your boyfriend. You wouldn't want him being with you, but secretly thinking about being with someone else, correct?
If it comes to it, you can let him know that you have been thinking about his going to uni in a few months time and that you think because you both are young it might be wise to not stay exclusive. You can still see each other, but leave it open to meet other people as well. Of course, this will have to go both ways. You would have to be OK with him possibly dating others.
Who knows, in time you both may find that you do want to be together, or one of either of you may find someone you like even better.
|
|
 |
New Member
|
|
May 5, 2011, 10:10 AM
|
|
Comment on talaniman's post
Thank you for your answer :) I would never cheat, but you're right, I do need to talk things through with him too!
|
|
 |
New Member
|
|
May 5, 2011, 10:13 AM
|
|
Comment on DoulaLC's post
You have basically cleared the confusion I have had over this. I feel I have waited a couple months and the feelings have only gotten stronger - only time will tell what will happen eventually! But thank you so much for your advice :) it's nice to have some reassurance and different points of view. You seem very wise, as in an older sister/mum kind of way. Thanks!
|
|
 |
Uber Member
|
|
May 5, 2011, 02:25 PM
|
|
<You seem very wise, as in an older sister/mum kind of way. Thanks!>
That's probably because I am an older sister and mum... :) Hope things get sorted for you and all turns out well.
|
|
 |
Ultra Member
|
|
May 6, 2011, 05:43 AM
|
|
It seems like you want to explore, that's fine. Cut connection with your current boyfriend and go explore. Just don't become a cheater because you don't want to hurt your boyfriend.
Good luck.
Javi
|
|
Question Tools |
Search this Question |
|
|
Add your answer here.
Check out some similar questions!
I still have feelings for her, but...
[ 8 Answers ]
I've been with my girl for 2 1/2 years and I love her and I still find her very attractive, but I don't want to be with her anymore. At least not for right now. I honestly just want to take a short break and have a little fun, which it seems that Im not allowed to have anymore. When we started...
No feelings?
[ 52 Answers ]
So my girlfriend I've been going out with 8 months told me that she got no more feelings for me, and so, we broke up. But my question is, what does that really mean? :/
I know she doesn't have another guy or anything either. Is she just confued? Or what?
My feelings.
[ 12 Answers ]
I am mortified to be writing this, but I'm desperate for guidance. I am a recently divorced 31-year-old mother of two teenaged daughters, aged thirteen and fifteen. My eldest sister's son, who is just a couple of years older than my two daughters, has recently started to make sexual advances...
Feelings for my ex
[ 7 Answers ]
I am twenty eight. I have been happily married for 8 years and I have 2 kids however a few weeks ago my ex contacted me and wanting to know what I have been doing. After chatting on line for a while I got know what he has been doing and reminiscing about old times.
We used to be sweethearts in...
Not sure about feelings
[ 4 Answers ]
I like someone 3 yrs older. Should I try to not like her? Or just wait till I'm older?
p.s. I'm 13 and she's 16, she and I are like brother and sis
View more questions
Search
|