[Fixer12]

Currently, my girlfriend of almost 2 years is going to be moving out to be with me. She will be moving across the country and spending all of her money to do it. I am extremely excited about it, and so is she.

About a month ago I had found out from her that while we had broken up at one point, she had slept with another guy while being very vulnerable ( I had broken up with her). This had been hard for me, and unfortunetly started causing problems with my anxiety, which I have had since I was a kid, but tends to only get triggered by bad events. Then it is hard for me to shake. For a couple of weeks she helped me, and now I know that I am coming across and annoying, needy, and selfish. She has been getting angry with me when I ask to many questions, because she feels I am trying to find stuff wrong. (which I guess I am) and she keeps asking me to just give her space to say goodbye to her friends and family. This is the first time she has ever left her home and all of her family.

I don't want to driver her insane and make her unhappy. I want to be able to believe everything she tells me and not feel that maybe she is doing stuff with other guys. I have talked to her about it, and she just says things will get better, but I need to figure out a way to control my emotions. She tells me, "I am moving out there to be with you, i am moving 2000 miles to be with you, why would i ever do anything with anyone else?" and I know she proves a good point, I just need to find a way to control my emotions.

[Wondergirl]

i am trying to find stuff wrong. (which i guess i am) ... I want to be able to believe everything she tells me and not feel that maybe she is doing stuff with other guys.

But you set her up. Your breaking up with her is why that happened. So the word is, YOU stop playing fast and loose with her emotions.

YOU get yourself under control and be an anchor for her (not a spiderweb) so she isn't fearful you might break up with her (again). She is proving that she truly loves you simply by moving her entire life and herself to your neck of the woods.

How to get yourself under control?

1) Don't check her cell phone.
2) Don't open her mail.
3) Don't quiz her about guys.
4) Don't wonder who she's with if she's not with you.
5) Don't ask annoying questions.
6) Give her space to breathe.
7) Enjoy her stories, even if others guys are in them. She wouldn't tell you if she's trying to hide something.
8) Find cute and clever and romantic ways to tell her you love her and are glad she is in your life. (Ask me for suggestions, if you need any.)
9) Thank God every day she has chosen you to be her man.
10) Find a counselor if you continue to be needy and snoopy and annoying and selfish.

Regularly doing the above will change your brain chemistry so that you will come to believe in her.

[DoulaLC]

I agree with Wondergirl... no more questioning. Learn to bite your tongue... not always easy, I know, but it serves no useful purpose and only causes the both of you harm.

Time will be your ally. That she told you about the incident shows that she trusts you and the relationship enough to be totally honest with you. Her moving her life to be with you does the same.

When she is with you, and the two of you are able to be together on a regular daily basis, building your lives together, your concerns will start to fade.

[talaniman]

The last I remember you are living with room mates so is she going to move in with you, and share a room, or have her own place to stay?? I mean what's the plan since you are a poor college student yourself.

[Fixer12]

She and I are going to be moving in together. WE already have a place. And it will be a one bedroom. So we will share our space.
We have already talked, stating that we aren't going to go threw each others things. (phones, computers, etc.) but if we are curious one what is going on we can always ask.

[mmresd]

YOU have issues.

"I want to be able to believe everything she tells me and not feel that maybe she is doing stuff with other guys." There is only one way to accomplish this... Just do it! Your insecurities are yours, they are your demon, and you are the one that is going to have to kill them. There is nothing she can do to calm you down, you need to learn to trust, because if you don't then you are going to end all of your relationships this way. Trust me, I have been like you.

[vanheart]

You better learn to start communicating, or there is no reason to make serious commitments. Moving, etc...

Your gut is telling you something. Listen now, or pay later. What's the rush?

"why would i ever do anything with anyone else?"

Ive heard that before.

Up to you if you want her to prove that or not. That means you taking a chill pill & deciding if you can handle her moving.

And acting like a real invested couple. Are you both really ready?