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Sokoalis · Mar 14, 2011, 05:52 AM

Moved to its own thread and edited

I'm really sad about it,because I always see the girlfriends of my boyfriends friends being there.
Why are they allowed to always be there?
They always have a great time together during the day and I'm the one who gets to see my boyfriend in the evening.
Its not like I'm embaressing or anything,everyone always likes me,and I'm very open and social.

We once had a little row in front of his friends,and I kind of "won it" and his friends were laughing and simply having fun.But my boyfriend took it very seriously and got very pissed of with me.
Since then he NEVER takes me out!
I think in these past 2 years that we have been together, I went out with him and his friends 3 times!
That is not normal is it?
Should I talk with him about it?
Just leave it,and break up with him once I'm extremely fed up?
I really don't know what to do!
But it really bothers me!!

If anyone has any advice please help me out!!

amicon · Mar 14, 2011, 07:58 AM

Talk to him by all means,but if,after two years your communication is already lacking in honesty and being straightforward,maybe it's time to go your separate ways.

talaniman · Mar 14, 2011, 08:10 AM

You won't know what to do except leave, or be unhappy, unless you talk about it.

Sokoalis · Mar 17, 2011, 06:49 AM

No our communication isn't lacking in honesty.But I just know that I ill start talking about this theme he will only get annoyed and tell me to stop talking about it... that the situation is as it is and that I should accept it :/

amicon · Mar 17, 2011, 07:06 AM

I find it disrespectful that your boyfriend can't see your point of view.

This bothers you and you have the right to expect understanding from your partner.

A relationship without mutual respect isn't much of a relationship.

Sokoalis · Mar 17, 2011, 02:52 PM

You're right.
He says if I keep on moaning about it and complaining I'm the one who isn't respecting him... and the fact that he doesn't want to mix his friens and me me too much.
I think he just has a problem to be honest... its his fear of having to share his "world" with mine in case we don't last? ( which I honestly think won't anyway so... ) I don't know... its dissapointing I guess.

talaniman · Mar 17, 2011, 05:49 PM

its his fear of having to share his "world" with mine in case we don't last? ( which I honestly think won't anyway so... )

Let go of his issue, as its an important clue into his thinking. Its simple that you are in this deeper than he is. For whatever reason you are more deeply committed, and he is hedging his bets. That's not good, and you are isolating yourself, unless you have friends and activities that make you happy. I say this because only dependent needy people let insecure people make the rules for their own happiness. You are allowing his fears to be your own. By doing your own thing, you will them evaluate whether this relationship is doing you any good, without the filter of intense disappointment, and make a decision for yourself, without his input, which you don't need.

Simply put, you can judge are his actions love, or fear, and act accordingly. Just ask yourself why you accept this from a person that doesn't share all he is with you? If that's what you think a relationship is fine, but if not..? Then you have a decision to make.