[Bonnie0414]

I use to date this guy and I dated him for 5 1/2 years and he broke up with me to "play the field" well while we were broken up I found someone else and decided that if he wanted me back he was going to have to change his ways and attitude. When I dated him I wasen't allowed to have a job or a car. He always spent his money on buying cars and trucks and then when I had money he would make me pay for like food liquor and cigaretts, really not fair. So I told him that I wanted to get a job and he was really mentally abusive and possesive even when we were broken up he still expected me to call him when ever I was going to do something. But I told him he needed to change his ways and he never would. So I started dating my fiancé and my ex started stalking me and then he got a new girlfriend and now they both bother me all the time they ride through my neighborohood and do burnouts up the road in the intersection and they come to my work and just walk through and stair at me and they talk about me on Facebook all the time but since they never stop at my house or say any thing to me at work and don't use my name on the internet I am at a loss is there something I can do to make them leave me alone it was bad enough when it was just him but now he's got his girlfriend starting in on it too... I don't want to tell my fiancé because he will just get really mad and I don't want him doing anything to get in trouble and all my family keeps saying is to just ignore him but this is really starting to get old and quick considering we broke up back in April... Please help...

[Ithappenstoall]

Sounds like it s a good thing you have moved on.
I would say try not think too much about it, he is being immature and maybe is regretting letting you go. All I can say is try and forget about it. And if you feel he is really stalking you and scaring you, let the cops know

[kaka67]

Tell the police.
Change your phone number.
Keep a diary of date/times of all these events.
Tell your fiancé.
Ignore him as much as humanely possible.
Why hasn't your boss called the police to report him?

[Alty]

Not much you can do about the Facebook stuff, but you can report him when he does his stunts on your street, and you can make your boss aware that this guy is stalking you at work.

I have to ask. How do you know he's talking about you on Facebook? Are you still friends with him on Facebook? If so, it's time to block him.

[talaniman]

Not telling your boyfriend is a mistake, as telling anyone who will listen about this matter is what has to be done. Just have documented facts for future actions. Ignoring them for now, and being wary of your surroundings at all times is what you have to do. Being afraid of an ex, and being afraid of what your boyfriend may do, is living your life in too much fear. That's not living.

[HistorianChick]

First of all, quit Facebook. If it bothers you, cancel your account. Block him, don't look at his site. If he is being a jerk and talking about you on a public site (and he probably is leaving it public for you to see when you look), then simply stop going to the site. You can't control what he does, only your responses.

That being said, tell your fiancée. That is what he is there for. He loves you and wants to make sure that you're safe and happy - you're neither, therefore, he should be able to help. You hiding this from him is not a good way to help grow your relationship. Tell him. Let him be the protector.

About the job thing, tell your supervisor/boss/manager. If they are harassing you at your place of employment, your supervisor needs to know. Action quite could be taken, but they have to know that it is happening first.

Bottom line, if you are serious about being harassed by this ex and his girlfriend, you need to step up and start changing things. Your ex does not control you. Start to take charge of your circumstances.

Most of all, be thankful that you are no longer in the relationship with him. He sounds like a loser.

[Bonnie0414]

No I am not friends but my best friend dates his best friend and she tells me about I don't go check it when she dose but it still bothers me to know he's stalking smack.

[Bonnie0414]

Thanks for all your advice and I don't want to tell my fiancé because I feel like this is my battle and would feel reall bad if something happed to him because he was trying to protect me... my ex has and gun and really shoulden't. I have told my fiancé he was bothering me but never told him to the extent just don't want to start new drama I have told my boss but because I work retial unless the directly say something to me or start a riot there is nothing my boss can do about banning him from my work. But like I said I completely ignore him and act like it dosen't bother me and don't say much to any one because all most all my old friends are friends with him as well so I don't say much them about what goes on because I don't know who all it can and can't trust and my best friend tells me about it so I know what's going on and I am not completely in the dark about what people are saying about me, I have to many friends on Facebook from high school that moved away and have gotten a new Facebook about 3 times I suppose I will just deal with it Thanks for all the advice if he dosen't stop I guess I will just take a restaing order out on him to make me leave me alone...

[kaka67]

Thanks for all your advice and I don't want to tell my fiance because I feel like this is my battle and would feel reall bad if something happed to him because he was trying to protect me... my ex has and gun and really shoulden't. I have told my fiance he was bothering me but never told him to the extent just don't want to start new drama I have told my boss but because I work retial unless the directly say something to me or start a riot there is nothing my boss can do about banning him from my work. But like I said I compleatly ignore him and act like it dosen't bother me and don't say much to any one because all most all my old friends are friends with him as well so I don't say much them about what goes on because I don't know who all it can and can't trust and my best friend tells me about it so I know whats going on and I am not compleatly in the dark about what people are saying about me, I have to many friends on facebook from high school that moved away and have gotten a new facebook about 3 times I suppose I will just deal with it Thanks for all the advice if he dosen't stop I guess I will just take a restaing order out on him to make me leave me alone...

Your boss for one needs to grow some balls. He can ban him from the shop. If he comes back he is trespassing. Simple. Done.

Plus if you have witnesses who have seen your ex there on a consistent basis then YOU call the cops when he next comes there.

Secondly you don't want to tell your fiancé?
How would you feel if he got hurt because you didn't tell him all of the facts and he couldn't keep any eye out for his own safety and yours?

You don't have the right to not tell him. Its HIS safety.

You probably aren't aware of this but you are still mentally attached to your ex. He's still controlling you.

If it had been anyone else you would have done something about it straight away... right?

Edit: Coz I can't speellll...

[Ithappenstoall]

I think restraining order is something to consider

[Bonnie0414]

Well I don't really have to worry about my fiance's safety any more because he's in jail now for something completely unrelated but not that I don't have him I feel so weak and unprotected. I did tell him the day before he got arrested and he was so mad that my ex hasent left me alone yet. I am not still connected with my ex in any way but yes I am scared of him he had put his hands on my while we were together that's one reason why I refused to get back together with him. But I guess I will see what my ex's next move is... and go from there thank you for all your help!

[Just Looking]

You have gotten lots of good advice here. You know your ex is abusive, verbally, emotionally, and physically. The most important thing here is to be safe. With your fiancé in jail, you are feeling even more vulnerable. I can imagine your ex using that info to intimidate you even further. Some other things to do:

1. Tell your friends and family. Arrange to call them or stay with them if things escalate.
2. Since he's been seen at your place of work, have a friend or co-worker walk you to and from your car.
3. There is safety in numbers. As often as possible, stay near friends or other people, especially when you are out at night.
4. Keep your eyes open at all times. Watch your surroundings as you drive.
5. Have a plan in mind of what you would do if he confronts you - which includes calling the police.
6. I understand your wanting to know what is being said about you. Can you ask your best friend to only tell you things that you need to know - e.g. if they make threats? You don't need to hear all the comments they make. Also, be sure your best friend is not giving her boyfriend any info about you that might get passed on to your ex. The less he knows and hears about you, the better.
7. If they do make threats, go to the police. If you get a restraining order, be aware that you still need to be very careful.
8. Listen to your gut and your head. If you feel in danger, you are in danger.

[christophert]

Listen, my boyfriend broke up with me so just get another boyfriend and you and him do the same thing and if they don't stop in 3 or 4 months, just walk up to HIM and say "listen, i have had enough so this so leave me alone."

[qwerty188]

Ignore it

[mmresd]

You tell him to leave once, the next time you let the police tell him to get the hell out. If he still doesn't understand then you get a restraining order.