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spritegirl · Oct 31, 2010, 09:09 PM

So I broke up with my boyfriend because I wanted to see what college life is like I still love him dearly and I want us to remain the same whenever we see each other like we always used to when we are together I didn't want stresses of relationship in college. He said he won't talk to me if I broke it off -- I have cried for a whole month because we talk and then he won't talk to me but now I think he finally decided not to talk to me. He says he can see why I want to be free in college but that he can't be around because it hurts him. Is he misunderstanding? What are your views on this...

ironhide262 · Oct 31, 2010, 11:57 PM

Hmmm... I am a little confused here. So, you wrote that you broke up with him... yet, you still want " us to remain the same whenever we see each other like we always used to when we are together ". Listen, you can't have both! You are either broken up or together( perhaps friends later). Your ex has been coming to the realization that he can't be your boyfriend whenever you feel like it. Of course he is in pain and he needs time to himself to get over you since he probably didn't want this breakup although, it seems like he understands and respects your reason to end the relationship. Don't get me wrong , you have every right to end the relationship if you wish to explore college life.
The both of you will be hurting for a while and time apart is what both of you need to get through this breakup. Seems like you are the one that is misunderstanding. You asked for the breakup so, give him the space and time he needs to get over you while you are exploring college life. Hope that helped.

joypulv · Nov 1, 2010, 02:01 AM

I'm not as charitable and diplomatic as ironhide. I think you are jerking him around like a puppet on a string, poor guy. Either keep him or let him go.

Devorameira · Nov 1, 2010, 06:22 AM

I don't blame him at all for him not wanting to talk to you. He's in a lot a pain right now and that would just add to it.

It appears to me that you're a cake lover - you want to have your cake and eat it to. In the real world that never works out.

In my opinion, you need to leave him alone and let him heal from the heartache. Maybe then he'll be able to find someone who really does love him, as you're not the one.

spritegirl · Nov 1, 2010, 06:34 AM

I am not jerking him around -- he's stubborn and won't talk. I am mad about that -- because at first we decided we would talk but he went back on that a couple of times and that made me mad. Its like he couldn't make up his mind...
I don't know anymore

answerme_tender · Nov 1, 2010, 08:06 AM

Spritegirl,

You are now in college, you wanted to experience the single life while there,you broke off the relationship. You need to take a step back and think about this. Can you really be angry with him for finally deciding not to try and be "friends" with someone who hurt him. You made a decisiion, now you have to be adult enough to stick with it, and don't try to have any contact with this guy.

Let him get on with his life. He might of found someone who wants to be with him, not just when she back from school,but all the time.

talaniman · Nov 1, 2010, 09:36 AM

Its you who are misunderstanding, and I think you are selfish, and not at all caring about what he is going through. You dumped him, and he tried it YOUR way, but that only caused him more pain, so leave him alone so you both can heal, and maybe, just maybe, can be friends that talk later. Don't push it, or he will be the one mad at YOU!!

I wish · Nov 1, 2010, 09:52 AM

You're the one who broke up with him. Can you really blame him for ignoring you? He wants to be in a relationship with you. If you can't give that to him, then you're better off going your separate ways so that you don't continue to hurt each other.

When someone gets dumped, it would be best to ignore the other person so that they don't hold on to false hope. Otherwise they won't be able to move on.

The fact that he's ignoring you is because he's trying to move on with his life. So if you don't want the same thing he does, then leave him alone so that you don't cause him anymore grief.

spritegirl · Nov 1, 2010, 07:06 PM

Well he hurt me because I wanted everything to remain the same except the title (bf &g gf)... I want to see what college life is like and I thought he'd understand. He didn't.

mystific · Nov 1, 2010, 07:12 PM

I really have to ask.. did you like just stamp your foot and pout?

"he hurt me".. grow up.. you hurt him. You're keeping him dangling on the line 'just in case' the college life doesn't pan out how you expect.. or you don't get asked out as often, or hit on or made feel 'special'.

Please. All I see is 'I want'.. well guess what.. he don't want.. any more. All the more power to him. I wouldn't want to be kept on a hook on a what off chance either.. enjoy college and all the obvious merits that go with it.

Before you go off on your next little tyrannical outburst about what you want.. have you stopped and thought seriously about what he wants? Do what's best for both of you and leave him alone.

talaniman · Nov 1, 2010, 07:15 PM

He couldn't! It hurt too much, what part of that is it YOU don't understand? You actually believe he was going to hang around while you played, explored, and had fun? What was he supposed to be doing? Twiddling his thumb and catering to your whims when you had time for him? Wait patiently for you to come back when you got ready?? Please explain how this was supposed to work. All you and no him??

I wish · Nov 2, 2010, 07:38 AM

Just because he couldn't adhere to your demands, he hurt you? What if he made demands that you couldn't meet?

You can't force him to meet your demands. It's his choice. You can't always have your cake and eat it too. Furthermore, it sounds like you didn't properly define what you meant by, experiencing college life. Are you sure he understood what exactly you meant by that? Because I don't even understand.