[alexa_brown16]

I went to a party with my sister last christmas at her boyfriend's. Thr I reunited with a guy friend I had a crush on for the longest, he was so sweet&kind. We were drinking& ended up having sex, I lost my virginity that night. The nxt day he called me asking me if I wanted to be with him. I ddnt know what to say, so I told him "i dont know, jst give it some time". Ever since then our relationship was based on sex, it went on for about 7months.dnt get me wrong we had a lot fun times. During that time I pickd up feelings for him, but never told him how I felt. One day I called him from my(girl)friend's fone to see whr he was.. 2dys latr my friend tells me he called her, saying he liked her& he wantd 2hook up wit her.. I was discusted and I stopped talking 2him for a couple weeks, during that time I started talkin2 a guy I used2 b friends with, and we had sex.The guy I startd having sex wit turned out to be his best friend.&wen he found out he was so mad at me, he started talking shyt. the only exuse I had was, he tryd 2get with my friend first. Weeks go by and we get back together after I broke up the little thing with his best friend. But after that happened he started 2change dramaticly. He ddnt treat me the same, he started being mean, he wudnt call me as much, and sometimes he would ignor me. One day I call him, and he says "whaaaat..?what do u want! what do u want from me! dnt u kno i hav a girlfriend??!" my heart dropped, I never thout he would say that to me. Let alone talk to me like that. I don't know what went wrong. I think he's with someone new.. but I miss him a lot. Wht should I do. call him. I don't want him 2talk2 me like that again though. How do I let him know I want to be with him but not sound desperate? And what should I say..

[joypulv]

He started all this by asking you to be his girlfriend and you said you didn't know, dragged it on for 7 months not even saying how you felt then - sorry, but you can't be so coy and expect much. Of course he would ask someone else out, and you had NO RIGHT to be mad about anything. Then to top it off, you were the first to have sex with someone else. He has a lot more reason to be mad at you than you at him. I suspect that he loved you and is hurt and his mean streak is covering hurt. My suggestion: don't have sex with someone BEFORE you know your feelings for him. Give this guy some time and if you truly care about each other you will eventually work it out. Write a letter of apology and true feelings. No email, no text talk abbreviations. Put it in a nice card and send it the old fashioned way.
PS: when you love someone and screw up you are in despair, so it's OK to sound 'desperate,' but mean what you say and practice what you preach (no more casual flings with other guys). Love isn't about being cool and coy and casual. Or about revenge. Or about begging or being clinging either. It isn't easy. You aren't the first this happened to nor the last.

[talaniman]

I think you have just found out that relationships based on sex seldom last, and they may be fun, but end up going no where. They do however stir up some extremely strong feelings, lust always does, but when the lust wears off, so does what got you together.

Time to move on, and remember this life lesson as you do. Sorry you had to learn the hard way about love and lust, but if he no longer wants to be with you, then you better leave him alone, and move on.

[beachloverjohn]

You sound kind of young. And your group of friends seem to be swapping boy/girlfriends, that in itself is a recipe for disaster. I suggest you slow down a little and take time to get to know someone you are dating {even if he had been a friend} before you start sleeping with him. This way your relationship will be on more solid ground, and not based on sex. And if you can do that, you will enjoy the "fun" even more than you do now.. And it may even last longer.