[militarygirl2]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years now and he just proposed. I still live with my parents and they don't know yet. He is in the military so I would be moving far away. I briefly brought it up with my mother and she wants me to wait till he is out of the military and done moving around. So basically I don't have her approval but I am allowed to attend college where he is stationed. Only problem is, is that I am a full time student and have a part time job, and it is going to be very hard to live out of state and pay for everything. Marrying him sooner allows me to follow him to his next duty station and have everything paid for including housing, school, groceries, medical, etc. So my question is, is how easy would it be to hide the fact that I am married from my parents? I am madly in love, and my parents love him to, they just want me to wait longer before I tie the knot. The only reason behind hiding it is because I so badly want their approval.

[J_9]

How old are you?

Hiding something of this magnitude from your parents is wrong. VERY wrong.

I also think you have a misconception about military life. It's not a glamorous as you think it is. They aren't going to pay for your groceries for instance.

[militarygirl2]

I am 20 and he is 22.
I know it's a bad thing and like I said, it's not something I want to do. And I am going to ask them again how they feel, but if they are disappointed IDK what to do because I am 21 I can make my own decisions.
I know it's not a glamorous life. I hate the military. But he is only in for 3 more years. And they do offer a certain amount of money at post to pay for groceries.

[J_9]

Why can't you wait for 3 years? By then you could be done with college and be starting your career.

[adam_89]

That is very true on waiting that way nothing would get in the way of your oppertunities.

[FoxCash]

While you may be 20/21 and feel you should be able to do whatever you want this is one of those times when you should do what you need to do instead of want to do.

You're dependent on your parents and you wan to move and marry your boyfriend and be dependent on him? That's not a smart move to make.

In my opinion it would be better for you to finish school, get your feet on the ground (by yourself) and then proceed with moving with him and marriage. It will do a lot for yourself to live independently before getting married and moving in with someone else.

Believe it or not your parents actually know what they're talking about. They want you to start on the right foot in life. If it's "true love" it can wait.

By hiding getting married you also run the risk of burning some bridges with your family and it's a whole lot harder to rebuild those bridges.

Also, why is this in the teens section?

[J_9]

Also, why is this in the teens section?

Good catch! Moved to Relationships

[talaniman]

To go from being dependent on your family, to being dependent on a fellow with responsibilities and obligations, in a situation you hate, is not very smart. No you will never be able to hide what your doing from your parents, nor keep their faith, trust and approval for your actions.

Not worth it so get your education while he serves his country, and then see what can be done the right way.

If your both so in love, what's the rush??

[Fr_Chuck]

If you are not mature enough to be honest about your actions, you are not mature enough to marry.

You are "scared" about what your parents may say or do ?
Then do what they want, and not anything else.
If you believe you are old enough to be married, and be a wife, ( adult) you have to be old enough to live by what you do

[Cat1864]

You seem to be looking at today and not thinking about tomorrow. Think about it this way, you can't follow him everywhere he might be stationed. Fort Hood or Fort Bragg are one thing-Afghanistan or a destroyer (you don't say which branch) is another.

What happens if you get pregnant? Are you willing to relocate with a baby in tow?

Why not spend the three years saving up for a wedding and house where you want to settle down when he gets out?

[Fr_Chuck]

Assuming you are really 20, ( or even 18) I have no problem with you running off with him and getting married. Military life is hard, and it is not going to be like working at Walmart. Many military wife's feel unloved, lost and alone 1000's of miles from home and hubby gone for days or months at a time often.
Or in my sons case often gone 11 or more months at a time
( he did 4 of those in 7 years) also if you admit that military has a higher divorce rate because of the stress of being away, and the changes each of you do, without the other.

But you are a adult and free to make those choices, as long as they are done upfront and honestly. Trying to hide it will only come back to bite you,

[beachloverjohn]

This is not "An Officer and a Gentleman" listen to your parents, listen to your brain, and your heart will follow. Let him finish his military duty, you finish college, and then have a wonderful life together. And you have wonderful parents, I might add. And they do know best.