[Dominic1205]

My fiance'e of 12years just broke up with me for no reason on 9/4/10 just yesterday and we have a son and he is the only child we have. But just 3 hour's ago he called me up and want's to come home tomarrow and be a happy Family again. But early this morning he text me a message saying that he does not want to be a dad any more and he no longer love's me or his son. He wanted to know to if I found some one new yet and that if he can come home because he love's me and does not want to lose me for good. Now I'm stuck because I still love him but I'm hurt at the same time. He does not care that I'm hurting from yesterday and that he want's to hold me in his arm's again but I feel that he will do it again and again. I got told by my family that I should let him come home on 9/8/10 and that he should think really hard about what he did and I get told to that I should let him come home today. I even lost sleep over this break up last night and I was really hurt about the stuff he said. I crying all last night and this morning before I heard from him. Please some one help me out I know my son who is 4 want's his dad back home.

[redhed35]

What reasons did he give for the break up?

Saying he did not want to be a father anymore is extreme,has this happened before?

The ball is your court,you can lay down the conditions of his return if that's what you want.

One could be you both seek relationship councilling.

If you allow him to come back he's coming back to a different women,things will not be the same,all is not forgiven or forgotten until its all worked through.

Its not OK that he can just change his mind after walking out,there are consequences to his actions and he is going to have to face them.

Perhaps you could even suggest councilling BEFORE he returns,which is what I would go with,but that's just me.

He can walk out so easily,he does not get back so easily.

[YeloDasy]

I am sorry this is happening in your relationship. Do what is right for you. You are hurting. There is a lot of communication that needs to happen. If you want him back now, then that is your decision. If you want to wait a few days to take time to talk and set some standards before he comes back, then its okay to set boundaries and talk first.

I do not understand why he wants to leave, come back, not be a dad, and then back again. What is that all about??

[Shadowburn]

Something weird is going on here. First off, how is it he doesn't want to be a dad anymore? This is a very hurtful thing to say, and whether he wants to be a dad anymore or not, by law he is required to support his son.

I'd think long and hard before discussing his come back. He walked out after 12 years with not so much as an explanation, then the every next day he panicked and runs back. Please think what's best for you and your child, because this man cannot be counted on. I think he'd do it again, and I'd be very cautious.

Good luck.

[talaniman]

Fiancé of 12 years?? Hey the guy needed a break, he took it, let him come home or is this something he has done before? If not, get him home and talk to him, he sounds hurt too.

[Homegirl 50]

A fiancé for 12 years and one child? He's your live in boy friend.
Maybe he met someone and it didn't work out, but he would not be waltzing back home after the way he left.
You two do some talking and counseling and see how that works before you let him crawl back home.

[Dominic1205]

No I know that he did not meet someone new because he does not beleave in cheating. Plus we talked about it and there is no other girl. I will not let him come home until we have a long talk and he has to promise me that he will have counseling.