[suzonthebay]

This was a fantastic relationship, lots of smiles but in reality... "major drainage" from teenage crisis & his life completely drained two happy loving adults to nothing. The younger of the girls is sneaking out, manipulating, lying and whatever it takes to go to "Rave" clubs, doing drugs "X", hanging in motels and as her diary mentions, multiple sex partners by age 13. OMG... I am sooo scared & emotionally drained. The Parents are in denial, even enabling. Well, I took a break, that was not acceptable & he wanted all or nothing. Its nothing. I feel sad & know I hurt him. I have sincerely tried to remain in communication, check in... be there to listen, walk or whatever. He has gone "ICE COLD". Next thing I received was a blasting of THREATENING HARASSING text messages, says "she is a cop"... "will come find me & mess me up"... She demands I do not contact her boyfriend ofmaybe 3 weeks... regardless, I am sad & shocked that he is trying to ruin everything that was even good between us. I'm glad he found someone but I did not deserve that. The VULGARITY & THREATS are against the law. They have not contacted since but what happens when she finds an old love letter? Who acts like that? I am confused because common sense deems, walk away. It happened 5 days ago & I am having a hard time letting it go. I can't accept being treated like that, especially if it is a cop, this is just wrong! WHAT DO I DO?? Press charges, make a point... but, at the risk of potential hell... well, thanks. I am torn & don't feel like I can drop it but probably not worth it. I've never been threatened & not sure how seriously to take this.

[suzonthebay]

I ended a serious relationship that was bound for marriage. We had such a fantastic time, truly enjoyed one another however, his teenagers were a handful and not in the normal sense either. The 14 year old has been sneaking out, lying, manipulating, going to RAVE parties, taking "X" and has had multiple sex partners. This activity began when she was 12/13 years old. The other Sister glamorizes partying and has had fake ID for years. The Mother is a drunk & has a very toxic relationship with both girls. Our relationship was drained and under extreme stress. I can't fake my feelings and have invested so much into their lives. We bonded, celebrated Birthdays, traveled yet due to the issues, it could stand the strain brought on by his daughter. The last time she snuck away, took a bus to a Rave & was found @ 4am in a motel, high on "X". She is in crisis yet neither parent seems to be alarmed set consequences or resourced help. I couldn't handle the stress anymore & was physically ill from the emotional strain. I took a "brake" but that was unacceptable to him as it was "all or nothing." Well, its nothing & he is "ice cold!" Of course I still care & not the type to just turn off feelings... "a brake" would have allowed time to pass, gather my emotions & figure things out. I have simply attempted to extend myself, check in and see how he was... After all, we are not kids and being 43 & 52 should be mature enough to respect what we had & be friends... civil. Meanwhile, 3 weeks later, he has started dating some obnoxious CrAzY person... she blasted be with THREATENING TEXT MESSAGES TO NOT CALL "HER" BOYFRIEND OR SHE WOULD "COME FIND ME & MESS ME UP"... The other vulgarities include some pretty bad language and more threats. It was also expressed that she was a "Cop." First of all, I can't seem to shake the feeling of being treated. However, I want to press charges for the harassment and threats, but by doing that, I unleash some "Psycho" in my life. People can do some creepy things and mostly upset with him for allowing my number to be used by her & with such unsettling behavior. What do I do? They have not contacted me at again but I didn't deserve that & want her to be held accountable. What a jerk! But, if I do... is there potential for more trouble and if she is a cop, she has power... I doubt if she is in this city but would it create a hellish nightmare for me if I pursue? I would think I would feel better to get the last word & feel in control because basically I feel insulted. She doesn't know me, our past or him for that matter. It happened a week ago & I'm obviously still bugged... ugh Thanks

[tickle]

I am confused because I don't really understand the first few sentences. Who are these younger girls. His daughters? One of them is is new g/f? Is one of these girls threatening you and claimed to be a cop?

No cop would act like this. Go to the police, and if you saved the text messages, show them to the police. More importantly, don't contact her, don't reply to her. Press charges. I am sure she will run the other way. This really does sound like a very spoiled, out of control teenager. Call her bluff.

You really can't let this person walk all over you; that is beyond sad.

Tick

[Cat1864]

This question has also been asked in Other Law.

[BMI]

I cannot comment on what I cannot understand. Really confusing.

[suzonthebay]

Hi the girls are his daughters... could have been a very happy ending for all but the reality, the drugs, manipulation and lying are more than I can accept. However, never thought he would be so ice cold... I ended it but still care. However, the psycho in question is his new rebound fling for past 3 weeks. I did reverse phone # search and although I'm on good terms with his girls, its definitely not one of his them... It's a lady in late 30's and only worried if she is a cop, she could be capable & have access to do weird things. I only say that because what kind of woman would go on attack like that? She has to be off her meds & dysfunctional... well, she will fit in great with them! So, press or not to press??

[tickle]

If she is claiming to be a cop, and I doubt she is and trying to scare you. Call her bluff and report her. The police will not take lightly to someone posing as a cop I can assure you. Yes, sounds like someone who is completely bonkers.

Tick

[BMI]

Ok, some clarification. No offence but you seem jealous of his new relationship. Referring to his current partner as psycho, etc. would suggest you are not too fond of the idea of him moving ahead whilst giving you the cold shoulder.

I'd leave them alone and I'd bet the problem resolves itself. As for the cop thing, no telling if she is or is not. I'd hope that officers working the blue line have more important things to do than partake in these very childish situations.

[talaniman]

Quote from other post
I ended a serious relationship that was bound for marriage. We had such a fantastic time, truly enjoyed one another however, his teenagers were a handful and not in the normal sense either. The 14 year old has been sneaking out, lying, manipulating, going to RAVE parties, taking "X" and has had multiple sex partners. This activity began when she was 12/13 years old. The other Sister glamorizes partying and has had fake ID for years. The Mother is a drunk & has a very toxic relationship with both girls. Our relationship was drained and under extreme stress. I can't fake my feelings and have invested so much into their lives. We bonded, celebrated Birthdays, traveled yet due to the issues, it could stand the strain brought on by his daughter. The last time she snuck away, took a bus to a Rave & was found @ 4am in a motel, high on "X". She is in crisis yet neither parent seems to be alarmed set consequences or resourced help. I couldn't handle the stress anymore & was physically ill from the emotional strain. I took a "brake" but that was unacceptable to him as it was "all or nothing." Well, its nothing & he is "ice cold!" Of course I still care & not the type to just turn off feelings..."a brake" would have allowed time to pass, gather my emotions & figure things out. I have simply attempted to extend myself, check in and see how he was... After all, we are not kids and being 43 & 52 should be mature enough to respect what we had & be friends... civil. Meanwhile, 3 weeks later, he has started dating some obnoxious CrAzY person... she blasted be with THREATENING TEXT MESSAGES TO NOT CALL "HER" BOYFRIEND OR SHE WOULD "COME FIND ME & MESS ME UP"... The other vulgarities include some pretty bad language and more threats. It was also expressed that she was a "Cop." First of all, I can't seem to shake the feeling of being treated. However, I want to press charges for the harassment and threats, but by doing that, I unleash some "Psycho" in my life. People can do some creepy things and mostly upset with him for allowing my number to be used by her & with such unsettling behavior. What do I do? They have not contacted me at again but I didn't deserve that & want her to be held accountable. What a jerk! But, if I do... is there potential for more trouble and if she is a cop, she has power... I doubt if she is in this city but would it create a hellish nightmare for me if I pursue? I would think I would feel better to get the last word & feel in control because basically I feel insulted. She doesn't know me, our past or him for that matter. It happened a week ago & I'm obviously still bugged... ugh Thanks

Until we get them merged this was her other post from https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/other-...xt-502356.html

You may want the last word, and give them a piece of your mind, but that wouldn't change a thing, but get deeper in crap and BS with a nutcase.

Leave crazy people alone, and make no more excuses to see how things are going. Don't let caring, or curiosity get you caught up in the mess of his life, and maybe be grateful that you walk away a bit mad, but with your sanity and freedom from the loony crew.

That's how you handle yourself now, being grateful you don't have to be involved with someone else's insanity. If he EVER contacts you, run like hell and hide.

[suzonthebay]

Thanks... needed the kick of common sense... I was physically ill from the drama & stress... so sad to go from happy to drained and your right, I wanted out, I'm out. I have no problem moving on when timing presents itself & looking for a fun filled, loving "healthy" relationship. If they exist? Haha The threats are like a really bad case of "heartburn!"... ugh

[Jake2008]

There is a very real part to the end of any relationship. And that is, 'The End." It is over, and you did the right thing in getting out. Obviously. For him to rebound so quickly sounds suspicious that something was going on before you opted out.

But, his children, and his new girlfriend, and their life together, is none of your concern, as much as it is confusing and hurtful to you.

Because the threats were made once, and not repeated, I would hold onto the 'evidence', just in case. I don't think I would report it officially, unless you are prepared to have to answer to their side of the story. And there are always two sides.

Personally, I wouldn't take that part of it seriously, and wouldn't waste a wink of sleep over it either.

Because it hasn't resulted in anything other than heated, angry words that were totally inappropriate and unprofessional, they are 'only' words.

It is important for you I think, to consider that part of it as part of the entire picture. To take one piece of it and make a big deal of her words to you, does seem maybe a bit vindictive, and retaliatory in nature.

But, if you do let this go, and put the relationship where it belongs, and that would be 'The End.' part, that would also include any further dealings with any of them.

Proceed with caution, absolutely, but, stop any and all contact with all of them.

[tickle]

Tal, and BMI, you both have good points but it makes my blood boil to think that another person has the audacity to play power games with another person. It could be her ex is egging this woman on with stories, or playing favourites, gave her the OPs number and allowed her to do carry on like this. I can just hear them laughing it off. I do agree that OP should be happy that she is not involved with this man because he is showing his true colours and a nutcase like his new g/f.

I do think she should be reported, her bluff called and make the shoe fit the other foot. This is just my opinion but I really do abhor people who play the wild card like that. In most cases they are insecure, unworthy to be human beings and totally lacking in morals; that is a sad road for a woman.

Tick

[suzonthebay]

Ok, some clarification. No offence but you seem jealous of his new relationship. Referring to his current partner as psycho, etc. would suggest you are not too fond of the idea of him moving ahead whilst giving you the cold shoulder.

I'd leave them alone and I'd bet the problem resolves itself. As for the cop thing, no telling if she is or is not. I'd hope that officers working the blue line have more important things to do than partake in these very childish situations.

Thanks, no offense taken... I am not jealous and for first time in a long time am sleeping and feel better. It was horrifying to be involved & so close to a teen in crisis... mad that he is so enabling & in denial. Its his mess & his life and can have it. I'm done... I just got used to "lack" of drama in my life and the threats happened. If a cop, can be pretty scary especially if she attacked me like that only knowing him for a few weeks. She is not a sane person & shame on him for allowing her in my life & giving my number. That's what I'm frustrated with.

[BMI]

Glad to hear it suz. Soon enough this will al be behind you. Although, next time you need drama in your life try renting a movie ok:)

[tickle]

Glad to hear it suz. Soon enough this will al be behind you. Although, next time you need drama in your life try renting a movie ok:)

I can name a few movies for OP which would make her situation look like a walk in the park !

Tick

[BMI]

Haha^

Cape Fear comes to mind:)