[bushbama]

Been dating this girl for six months. Not very long, I know, but we hit it off immediately. Very close, good friends, we could sit in silence and be happy, she was always very affectionate too.. her parents loved me, spent every weekend with them. Very independent and focused, something I haven't found in a girl for some time now.

Every guy she's been with has cheated on her. Ex husband from many moons ago, and her last serious relationship (I was her first boyfriend in over a year). She has endometriosis, which causes some problems during sex, and she has a very irregular period, regulated with birth control. I was willing to meet her halfway on all of it. I was understanding, told her she needed to communicate. She's also on citalopram for anxiety/depression. Back in June she had mentioned trying to get off her meds, don't know if she ever did. It's possible, but who knows...

So we're good for six months - perfect. Well in the middle of July, her period is horrible, migraines giving her blurred vision, grandfather died and she is very stressed at work. My brother-in-law works with her and he said she went crazy on some people; crying, bad mouthing the boss. To me, it sounded like she was getting screwed over. So I go see her, knowing I'm walking into a mess. Well I started drinking that night, and she's not much of a drinker. She was kind of being short with me all day long so I decided to really drink. Like 19 beers really drink. We end up fighting about stupid stuff. I overreacted, told her she didn't appreciate anything I did (buying groceries, helping build a deck on her house, always paying for dinner, lunch, breakfast, etc.). She was crying, saying she's broken on the inside. Our first fight ever, it was bad... so I leave, I come back. She lets me in, I pass out. Then I wake up to her yelling at me and I'm standing in her living room pissing on her floor. I felt so bad. I honestly was dreaming that I was in her bathroom. She throws me a towel, I clean it up, throw it in the washer, tell her to forget she ever met me (I was embarrassed).

So, I apologize the next day with a voicemail. No response. Send her an e-mail the next day saying hey I'm sorry, I got drunk, shouldn't have raised my voice, you're going through a lot, you said some things that made me mad, I overreacted, I am so sorry... finally she replies. When I'm done, I'm done. You can't talk me into seeing you again. Let me know what you want from my house and I'll give it to your brother-in-law, don't contact me after that. ( I gave her a microwave, stereo system, patio furniture for her deck, stuff for the kitchen)

So, I don't reply. Week goes by no contact. I want closure. So I call. She's crying, saying it's over. She said her dad always said people who smoke and drink are weak. I had to bite my tongue because this is coming from someone on anti-depressants (I quit smoking well before this happened, four months before this). She said she doesn't like my drinking. I agreed ( I only drink once a week, on the weekends, around her). Told her I'm going to fix it. She said it's too late. She said that I wasn't the one for her, then she would follow that with "I'm never getting married again." she said she doesn't do red flags anymore... I told her that her taking medication and not being able to have sex could constitute as a red flag, but I didn't run away from her. She cried and cried, said I was the nicest guy and I did the nicest things, and that this is hard, that's why she's crying, but it's over...

I asked her, if my drinking was really problem why not bring it up until now, until we have a fight. She said she didn't want me to change for her and she didn't want me to throw it back in her face (lets keep in mind the first night she met me, she asked me to quit smoking because it was a deal breaker). So I tell her, "listen, I care about you and I screwed up, I want to change for me because I don't like my drinking either, that I was going to give her some time to cool off, give her space. If she wanted to talk to me that I would be open for a discussion. She said bye.

I don't know... she's going through so much at work, not sure if she stopped her meds, her period can wreak havoc on her. Ive had to give her shots for it in the past. Also, our fight happened on 7/24. One week without contact. Talked to her yesterday.

This sucks.

[talaniman]

Hey dude, whatever happen, it doesn't matter who is right or wrong, or who did what, but you got dumped, and MUST leave her alone. Bow out gracefully, without ceremony, and let her do what she has to do for her own sake.

For whatever reason, it didn't work, and that happens all the time.

[positiveparent]

It sounds like she has PMS, and that can be horrendous for the female.

PMS = Pre Menstrual Syndrome

Regardless of this though you have been dumped, its over, let it go, go NC, and heal then move on with your life, it sounds as if this girl needs some serious counselling and until she gets it, she wont settle with anyone.

Move on go NC, its really the only option open to you. Good Luck.

[binx44]

NC is the best way to go, though sometimes it seems easier said than done. Things will get better, listen to PP and talaniman they give awesome advice

[bushbama]

I'm going no contact. She told me what was wrong, she knows I'm sorry and that I'm going to work on me... it's my only option and I told her I would let her be. I'm going to stop drinking and exercise some discipline. It was obviously eating at her, but she bottled it up. Guess we'll see what happens. It's not my first relationship, it's not my last, but man did I really like this one.