[arjfay20]

I am an Indian and she is an American. We have been dating since one month. I know her a month before I started dating her. This is my first time dating someone. We hung out literally everyday for the first and second weeks. We live in the same apartments and have Indian friends in common. I had a fight with two of her best friends regarding some issue and I stopped talking to them. We all had a plan to go out for a weekend before the fight. But when that weekend came (which was two weeks after we started dating), she chose them over me. She told me that she was really sorry and that she promised them to take them out before we started dating. I told her that I was not happy with the decision but I was OK. From the third week, she started acting differently. The first two weeks she used to send me text messages often and she used to start the conversation whenever she saw me online. Starting third week, she is not sending me any messages (she replies when I send her a message! ), she doesn't start the conversation herself. We hung out only twice for the third week and she seemed fine in person. After the second week, she once told me that things are going pretty fast and we need to take it slow. We had a chat in the beginning of the fourth week and I told her that I feel like she lost interest in me. She replied to me saying that she fears to tell me everything, like the times she hung out with her friends I had fight with. She says she is unsure about her feelings for me and trying to figure them out. She feels she lost the connection somewhere. I promised her that the fight between me and her friends would not be a issue in our relationship and I wouldn't be mad if she hung out with them. I will be moving out of this place in 2 months and she is planning to work abroad for 7 months. I want to strengthen this relationship before we move out from this place. I also think that the long distance thing is worrying her and if I can be trusted in long distance. I really like this girl and want to win her back. I am confused if I should be the same I was, should I take her on a date... or should I give her sometime till she figures things out. Even if I give her sometime, should I be in contact with her during that time or should I stop all connection.

Please advice me... Any help would be appreciated!! Thanks

[I wish]

It's nice that you are strongly committed to this relationship. But relationships operate on a two-way street. She has to be willing to put in the same effort to make things work. You can't force her to do something that she doesn't want.

You can't win someone. She's not a trophy, she's a person. Continue to have calm and honest discussions to try to work things out. Lay it all out on the table and try to tackle one issue at the time.

However, keep in mind that if she's not willing to put in the effort, then you can't force her to. She has to do it willingly and naturally for this to work out.

Be supportive of her as she's trying to sort things out.

[talaniman]

ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to I wish again.


Something tells me that you are pushing and expect too much of a month long relationship, that likely will be interrupted soon for several months. She said take things slowly, but I see no indication of a break up, anywhere in your post.

That's what you do, take it slow and bring your expectations down to a more realistic level, and enjoy the time getting to know each other.

She doesn't sound confused at all, just practical, and realistic. You sound very inexperienced on the other hand and just have to slow down and put your best foot forward and be a great fun date, and see where it leads.