[jmihotek]

Move to its own thread

I broke up with her and she didn't wait even a week to start a new relationship. Do you think it will work out for her? How long should it take to find out either way?

[amicon]

How old are the two of you and how long were you together?
More details,please.

Generally speaking a rebound is not to be recommended, you need to heal from a breakup before becoming involved with somebody else

[dynocompe]

I find relationships usually break up with a month, if they last longer, then there is something there, That is just based on my opinion and experiences alone.

[Devorameira]

It’s possible that she has formed a rebound relationship. Rebound relationships tend to have a high failure rate and 8 out 10 cases do not work into a long lasting relationship. BUT then again it’s possible that she really cares for the new fellow and it will become a long term thing.

If you are thinking about waiting around for it to break off, give it up and move on. YOU broke up with her, so don’t expect her to come crawling back to you. Why are you worried about it ? You threw her out, so remember - “One man's garbage is another man's treasure”, so the new guy may just be a treasure hunter.

[jmihotek]

Thanks for the answers.
I am clearly in the false hope stage still.
I am 57 and she is 42.we both have young kids and that was the problem. She didn't like my 9yr old daughter and her 11 yr old boy didn't like me. We got along just great. We were together 1 1/2 years. After an argument with her boy he cussed me out and I didn't want to see him again so I didn't go back to her house. I decided I was sick of her son. I also had enough of her complaints about my daughter. Then when she hang up on me because my kids were interrupting our conversation, I decided to break up and never called her again.
I went to see a fortune teller that told me there is a possibility that if the offer she gets from her new fellow is not good enough, she might come back and to be ready with my own offer.

[dynocompe]

Well I honestly think that is a poor excuse to end the relationship. THere just kids, they don't know any better and our seeing there mom with a new man, of course there not going to like it. My parents split up when I was 21 years old. I am now 27, and my mom tried dating a guy when I was about 24 and none of my brothers nor me accepted him(I have three brothers), and the guy disappeared after a couple months. Now she has been with a new guy for about a year now, and just now are we starting to accept him. I figured if he can deal with us, and he is still here, he must really love my Mom. The guys wife died only 6 months before he started seeing my mother, so I did not feel his intentions were sincere. Trust me, even though I am 27 years old, he has probably had to deal with more than a 11 year old. I have even told him to leave the fricken property, and if I come here again, I will literally drag him off. I admit it was childish, but hey, its my mom. The guy also drove a harley and has a pony tail, and my mom is a business woman, runs two. Also after only dating a couple months, I over heard my mom telling my Aunt how he asked her to move in together already! So I didn't think they were a great fit. The guy though now has cut off his pony! Lol
HE is also our high school counsellor and is actually a good man. They still do not full on live together, thank goodness.
So I think if you two were to ever get back together, you have to come up with a plan with each other, to deal with the children. That is something you should help each other out with through out the relationship.

[Imabadman]

Sorry to say she may very well marry the new guy... one never can tell. Stop analyzing and focus on yourself and your kids. Let her go for now. How far did you expect this relationship to go without the buy in from the kids?

Dude... a fortune teller?! Come on. What next reading chicken bones?

[dynocompe]

I think anyone could have told you what the fortune teller said! Maybe I should be a fortune teller

[jmihotek]

Thanks for the answers. About the chicken bones, well, I deserve that comment.
Her 16yr old told me she loves me like a father. My daughter didn't buy in because the ex didn't like her from the get go.
I love her kids, it's her boy that never bought in.

[Imabadman]

jmihotek for right now the relationship is over. I know... it hurts and it's a tough break. One never knows what the future will bring so hang tough. K.

Kids are tough. I've had more than one relationship be ruined by them. Well maybe not ruined by them but rather my lack of trying to understand them better and maybe just giving up. Having an attitude like, "I'm the adult and you will listen." Not good.

Kids take a while to warm up... but ultimately they can and will come around. BUT... with that being said it's up to you and her putting in the extra effort to gain their acceptance. Should that prove to be too much to ask or just figure it's not worth the effort well then I would suggest you walk away.

[dynocompe]

Well I think the boy would have eventually come around as he grew older. My one brother accepted the guy right away. I remember my mom invited me for supper at our cabin, and I asked her who was going to be there. She told me my one brother, his wife and children and my Mom. So Me and my girlfriend went out there, only to drive in the drive way, and see him there on the deck. I backed out and went back home and got some take out! I had my girlfriend so convinced that this guy was not right for my mom, even though now I am starting to accept him, she hasn't yet! Lol
If I had to do this all over again, I would have reacted the same way. I don't believe in divorce, and my whole life growing up, when we would hear about families getting divorces, my mother would always say, you boys are lucky to have parents that are still in love with each other and happily married. I never ever thought my parents would get a divorce, nor that it would be my mom wanting it. Her whole family is christains and attend church regularly. I think she had a midlife crisis, and regrets it all the time.

[Devorameira]

It’s probably for the best that it’s over. If you can't handle a disrespectful 11 year old, then she needs a better man and you need a more compatible woman. It is a big challenge not everyone can do to step into a child's life. No one's blaming you for breaking it off. It's not for everyone. Good luck!

[talaniman]

You may not be a spring chicken any more, but after you heal up, you will have better options, and opportunities, to find better more compatible people to be in your life.

Just don't worry about what she is doing, your still young enough to enjoy yourself, and your kids.

[jmihotek]

Thanks again
It's her disrespect I could not take.
You don't hang up on the one you love, or do you?

[Imabadman]

Well you might hang up... but a grown up would call back within a respectable time and say, "Listen, I'm sorry for hanging up. That was childish." After that you/she go on with addressing the issue(s) or decide it's not working.

She took a two-prong approach: Childishly hung up and broke up at the same time. There's a character lesson about herself for you.

[jmihotek]

Thanks Imabadman for your response. The character lesson about herself is that she throws the stone and then hides the hand that threw the stone? Did I get it right?

A respectable time would be say 3 days and no more?

[talaniman]

What difference does it make how long her new thing lasts? Are you expecting her to drop this other guy, and come running back to you??

Come clean guy, your still talking trying to win her back, why not admit it.

You really are thinking she will learn her lesson don't you?

[jmihotek]

No, not really.
It's over.
She's dead
I'll never see her again
I'll never talk to her again
It been month and a half and I have not contacted her since.
She's moved on and so must I

I was just curious if I got the character lesson Imabadman suggested.

[Imabadman]

My point was jmihotek she seems as immature as her kid(s). Throws a stone and runs and hides as to not deal with the window it broke.

Let her go. Don't worry about what was or could have been. I think you realize now the person you thought she was is not the person she really is.

[jmihotek]

Absolutely agree with you. I deserve a lot better than that .
I am starting a new life now with endless possibilities and
Choices.
ThAnks to all for your answers and comments.
I. Am moving on with my life to bigger and better things.