[MIXEDEMOTIONS88]

Recently I have split up with my ex... we have a 2 year old daughter together.. he has been in and out of jail.. we where together for 3 years.. I know I still have feelings for him but deep down I iknow he is no good for me and I refuse to be with him again... I now have a new boyfriend we have been dating for 3 months now and things are great I am 7 weeks pregnant with my second child.. I love my new boyfriend but I'm scared that when my ex gets out of prision that I will fall for him again and I don't want that because he has put me through hell... what should I do

[Romefalls19]

All you can do is focus on your new relationship, with your ex, I'd try the courts for primary custody and just avoid contact that isn't necessary, like your relationship

[thisisit]

First, I suggest you start using a form of birth control that you can live with and use faithfully. You were with your first Boyfriend 3 years and have a 2 yr old. That means you were pregnant within the first few months of being a "couple" with the first guy. NOW, you've done it again. You are almost 2 months pregnant with a man you've been dating for 3 months.

I think you should talk to a therapist and figure out how to become a strong woman who does not continue to repeat past mistakes over and over and over again. How can you tell in less than a few months if a man is going to make a good father and provider?

Your children deserve the best. You don't mention your age, but that doesn't matter now. Now you need to focus on being a good mother to your children, who did not ask to be created by you. Your first priority is with the children. Once you become a responsible, loving, caring, mother you may find that you don't have time for a boyfriend.

[MIXEDEMOTIONS88]

Ans to thisisit :

I get what you are trying to say but my first relationship we were fooling around for about a year before we actually got together and a few months after that I found out that I was pregnant... I am a wonderful mother and provider for my child and always have been.. and my current boyfriend now I have known for a few years now but we never hooked up because I was in another relationship so I appreciate your advise and understand where you are getting at but at the same time it seems like you are trying to put me down as a person and parent and I do not appreciate that but thanks for all the advice and I hope that in the future you don't assume that someone is not a good mother when you don't know them

[thisisit]

I'm happy for you that you are a wonderful mother and provider for your child. It's a good thing because you are about to have to make room in your child's life for your attention and support to be split one more way. Good thing you have all of it under control.

[Jake2008]

That you are worried about how you will react when your ex gets out of jail doesn't seem to me that you are completely solid with the man you are with now. You said you were worried that you actually might fall for your ex.

Yet, you are pregnant with a man you have been dating three months. You may have known him as a friend, but dating, getting pregnant and settling down with him in three months is, at best, a leap of faith.

You can't have two relationships at the same time, and be worried when you're with the one now, that you will falter and fall for the other one.

That's where good parenting comes in. Nobody is saying you aren't a good mother. But you do your children no favours by going back to a man you know isn't good for you, or stay with a man you are not committed to because you think of falling for the other one. You said he put you through hell. That does not bode well for a healthy family life.

If it is over with the ex, it's over. There isn't a future to consider with him other than visitation with his child.

If you are truly serious about providing a stable, loving home for your children, do what is in their best interest, first. Yours second.

Putting them first will help you realize that your needs, wants, and doubts have to take a backseat. You cannot afford the luxury of worrying about being with a man who's been in and out of jail, and that you have had a failed relationship with.

Try your best to make this relationship work that you are in now, and avoid a broken home for the second time, for your children's sake.