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    snugglesyl's Avatar
    snugglesyl Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 6, 2010, 09:14 AM
    Me and my boyfriend are engaged. He has a daughter,don't trust him around the mother
    There has been so much that has happened to make me not trust him. When we got together it was all about me. Until 9 months into our relationshiphe found out he had a 1 month old little girl off a one night stand. He then tried to start a family with them and dumped me. Then he got his feelings hurt and came running back to me like a dumby I took him back. He want to be apart of the baby's life, but its just hard for me to trust him around his baby mother. What should I do?
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #2

    Jan 6, 2010, 09:21 AM

    If you can't trust him, why are you even thinking about marrying him?
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
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    #3

    Jan 6, 2010, 09:39 AM

    If you don't trust him now ,a ring on your finger is not going to magically change that.

    I would rethink the marriage until you can trust him,if ever.

    There are never any guarantees when it comes to relationships.

    Being in a relationship is the biggest leap of faith there is.

    If you do not trust him and you have good reason not to then set some ground rules for the visitation.

    Bottom line,he is going to be parenting with this woman for at least the next eighteen years so if you plan on a future ,you need to have a serious discussion about your fears and figure out a way to make this work.
    HistorianChick's Avatar
    HistorianChick Posts: 2,556, Reputation: 825
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    #4

    Jan 6, 2010, 09:45 AM

    No trust = no relationship.

    Period.

    If you don't trust him, you shouldn't be in a relationship with him.
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #5

    Jan 6, 2010, 09:51 AM

    No trust, no relationship. End of story, there is no other advice to give
    Metalhead11592's Avatar
    Metalhead11592 Posts: 157, Reputation: 11
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    #6

    Jan 6, 2010, 10:03 AM

    If your seriously thinking about taking him back after he had sex with another women 1 month into your relationship with him you must be daft! Don't even think about being with him if he is going to run around with his kid then I garentee you the child's mother is going to be running with him and you won't be able to keep up
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #7

    Jan 6, 2010, 11:26 AM

    Leave because your just a rebound since he was dumped by the baby mother. There is no sense in staying with someone when your unhappy.
    kp2171's Avatar
    kp2171 Posts: 5,318, Reputation: 1612
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    #8

    Jan 11, 2010, 01:10 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by snugglesyl View Post
    what should i do?
    You don't get married.

    You can try to complicate it... but really... try to convince me that this marriage is a good idea.

    I have no problem with him being a part of the child's life. Id have a problem if he wasn't man enough to step up and be present.
    mudweiser's Avatar
    mudweiser Posts: 2,750, Reputation: 707
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    #9

    Jan 11, 2010, 02:40 AM

    Marriage magnifies problems.

    This DOES seem like a rebound relationship, especially after what you said makes it seem like you should just cut your losses and go.

    If you really want to be with him you need to work on your trust issues and communicate with him better.

    Have you spoken to him about these issues and how you feel? If not, it's time to start.
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