[tagg2209]

Hello, I'm new to this site. I have just recently been dumped by my girlfriend, and no I'm not asking how to get her back... I would just appreciate some feedback on the situation, thank you.

Anyway, so things started great, especially for her living in another town, we saw each other every day. We got so close, we told each other we loved each other, and we wanted to move in together... Well as time passed and we went into college, financial problems occured; I didn't see her as much, and eventually we didn't see each other for a few months. It bugged us, yeah... but we were 100% willing to wait until I can move in. But that's when the fighting began... We started arguing about dumb , and then it got worse... I started getting so frustrated I disrespected her and in the process hurt her multiple times with my vulgar attitude and lack of respect when I was around friends... We were both frustrated... but I knew that if we saw each other it'd all work out.. So I hurt her again, and she gave me one last chance... I bought her a ring, I was planning to come n' stay with her for a week and talk to her family about moving in with her, I was treating her the way she deserved to be treated... a few days after, she was with her friends, and didn't call me like she said she would, the next morning I was going to surprise her with a ring when she told me she's done, she said I hurt her too much... and she needed to be selfish for awhile. She didn't talk to me for 2 days, at first I called like a manaic (probably +20 times in a row), then finally accepted that I need to give her time. We're friends now but she's always dropping minor hints about me n' her in the future, what does that mean? It feels like she's messing with me, and it hurts so bad to be her friend... I've been toughin' through it, and she said it hurts her too... But what's up with that, does she still want to be with me, but she's afraid to get hurt?:confused::confused:

Thanks in advance.

[amicon]

Being friends with an ex right after a breakup usually doesn't work-there are too many feelings left,and too much emotional dust that needs to settle.
Go no contact and don't talk to her-at the top of the relationship page there are stickies with good advice.
As for her hints about the future my take on that is she's trying to keep you hanging around as her fallback guy in case her new life doesn't work out.

[tagg2209]

Being friends with an ex right after a breakup usually doesnt work-there are too many feelings left,and too much emotional dust that needs to settle.
Go no contact and dont talk to her-at the top of the relationship page there are stickies with good advice.
As for her hints about the future my take on that is she's trying to keep you hanging around as her fallback guy in case her new life doesnt work out.

That's the thing though, I know her better than anyone, she still loves me... and I won't go into her past or detail her personality, but she won't go for another guy for awhile, this girl is really sweet... nice, not stuck up in any way, never a . But every time I bring up the future she says she's sticking to her decision... and yet gives hints relating back to our relationship, also I meant to call my friend alyx when I accidentally called her and woke her up, when I apologized and told her I meant to call someone else she got jealous as hell...
Is she still unsure?

[annette88]

You have to see the MAJOR part you played in the failure of this relationship and then go NC and both move on. Sometimes therd has been too much hurt and carelessness to rectify a relationship. Learn from your mistakes for the sake of future partners.

[emopunk7]

First of all, you should never disrespect a woman. Even if she curses you on the phone then just hang up. My ex used to curse me and I'd hang up. Of course, forgiving her within 5 minutes like a loser I was. You have to CONTROL yourself.

Secondly, it is over. It is time to accept that. We can stay here guessing all day what exactly was it that caused her to end it. It may be your anger or her realizing she would rather be single or she met someone. None of these answers would help you. She is gone and the sooner you accept it the better. The better for you!

You have to look deep into yourself and find the strength. As soon as my ex said she gave up, the next day I said goodbye. It is going to be 2 months in 3 days and I'm doing sooo good it is unbelievable. I am still single and I plan to date a few ladies before considering a relationship. You have to choose if you want to get over her. Once you do, you have to delete her phone number from your phone. Delete her from ANY and ALL social sites. Anything that reminds you of her goes in a box or in the garbage. Stay away from anything that can remind you of her. You already have enough in your mind so anything else is nearly fatal. Listen to happy music. Work out at a gym or at home. Go out with friends. Watch movies. Stay busy. Within 2 months, you will feel a difference. Do not mess up in any way and you will be cool. If you mess up even by passing by her house, it will hurt you so bad. Don't do it to yourself. You will also feel glad of how strong you were. I sure am! It works. Just be strong and do these things ASAP!! I'm here for you! I know how much this sucks. You can do this!

[tagg2209]

Well, thank you for the advice. Maybe, haha well you are right... Its just hard, and I'm glad someone else knows how I feel. She still calls me at night like she used to, and sometimes she starts to say things like "i love you" but stops right away... I guess I hurt her too much... So don't even try being friends, even though she still hints at the future? I'm going to try, obviously nobody has a real answer for me, but emopunk7; what you said helps already.. Thank you.

[talaniman]

Good luck with that friends thing guy, as many have tried only to be stuck on false hope of things going back to the way it was. It's a recipe for future disasters, because she will be ready to let you go completely, when she has better options, and opportunities.

People change all the time, and so will you, once you see the best path is the healing process, that will keep you from being stuck on confusion, and false hope.

Once the emotional dust is out of your eyes, you can see clearly again.