[bunny222]

Hello! I'm 20 & my boyfriend is almost 22. We both moved to la me(2 1/2 years) him (1 1/2 years) we met through a mutual friend & was inseparable ever since. Anyway, so we've been together for about a 1 1/2 years & we spent every chance we could together for the first year just cause we didn't know that many people. But 7 months into the relationship I moved into his place cause I had probs with my roommate. But afterwards we decided to move in together officially. WE got a little studio in hollywood.

But before that we had a huge prob. He told me he loved me then basically took it back & wasn't sure if he did or not then said he needed space. I was devastated but I understood. & he also stated that he didn't know if it was a good idea to live together... so I left back to northern cali (where Im from) just to give him space & to clear my head. & day later he called me telling me he missed me so much then the night after that he told me he couldn't see life without me & that he really did love me & wanted to move in together. I camt back 2 days later we were happy & fine.

We moved into our studio for about the past 2 months. We would bicker a lot & I was starting to get jealous of all the girls he would be around cause he's an actor. All of a sudden he said he needed space again& having doubts about us living together.. & I was so confused.. & hurt. Cause lately I was mad cause he never looked forward to seeing me anymore or making plans with me. But he told me he was a wreck. He's been wanting to go back into school & he felt like his career was going no where, money issues, family issues, just a bunch. He said that he didn't have the energy to be in a relationship right now but that he loves me & he doesn't want to break up. I was mad but after a day I understood & told him that I'll be there for him & support him in whatever he does & that we can put our relationship on the back burner for now until he figures himself out & I'll do my own thing for the time being.

He also said it was because I was home all the time cause I quit my job cause it was too far & I had probs with my student loans so Im not going back to school until jan. we both miss the way our relationship used to be when we would work all day.. & see each other at night or our days off. Im trying to find a restaurant job again cause I miss working & I miss how we used to be. He hasn't been getting a lot of work either so he's been home a lot more. We're both stuck in this small studio all day & night sometimes. We agreed to do our own thing for awhile & hang out with our own friends just to get our own separate lives back.

& for extra space. I told him that for the whole month of nov id pack half my clothes & move out for the month for his extra space. Cause I really want us to work out.. I went back to nor cal again. Im trying to find a friends place I can crash for a month or so , so I can continue to find work because I am determined. So I moved out sat which is the last time I talked to him. He texted me that night asking me where I was staying & we said our byes. It was light & easy conversation. I haven't talked to him since & its weds. I don't want to invade his space & make the first move because I want him to come to me & be the one to miss me. I don't want to be that dependent girl. But its so hard cause I miss him so much. I'm trying to focus on myself my own life & my friends & making the best of it & thinking positive that this break will be good for us. Am I doing the right thing? :(

Xoxo

[amicon]

You should concentrate on your friends,family,get a job and take up your studies again.
Waiting around in limbo for him to sort out his confusion and make a commitment is a waste of time as you don't know what will happen in the future.
His actions speaks louder than words
You re doing all the work in this relationship and that s not a good place to be.

[bunny222]

Yeah I know...
That's what I'm trying to do right now is get my own life together & focusing on myself.
I just can't help it that I miss him from time to time from the break we're having.
But I'm for sure not going to be the first one to contact him I'm sure of it.
I deleted his number from my phone so I'm not tempted to call.
I figured if he wants to talk to me he will if not after the month.. I'll figure out my living situatuon & stuff from there.
I don't know what else to do.
I want him to come to me & miss me but Im also prepared for the worst.
I just hope it works out. I really do.

[amicon]

Me I d sort out my own living space asap. You ll feel better if you have a place to call your own.

[bunny222]

I've been thinking about that option too. But I thought since our lease ended in feb.
As much as I love sleeping in the same bed as him at night & having someone to come home to.
I would consider moving out if it means saving our relationship.

But thanks for all the advice! :)

[kappachino]

You seem a bright and articulate young woman - you also appear to deserve more than being kep on a yo-yo string by a wannabe Brad Pitt who doesn't seem ready for a relationship to move a stage further = good luck!

[I wish]

It's a HUGE RED FLAG when your boyfriend takes back the words: "I love you". I wonder what else he didn't mean but didn't official take back.

It's not just him who needs time and space, it would do you some good too. Why be with someone who doesn't feel the same way about you?

Even if he comes back to you and tells you that he loves you again. Who knows when he will take it back again.

Why be in a relationship with so much insecurity? If he actually comes back, make sure you do it right the second time around, otherwise, it's just going to blow up again.

[bunny222]

I know but he supports me in whatever I do.
We both have tough careers. I'm trying to be a fashion designer & he's doing the whole acting thing.

& the whole I love you thing was because I kind of pressured him when he wasn't ready yet cause I know I pressured him into it. & he was scared Id break up with him if he didn't say it. But I know he cares a lot about me & doesn't want to break up with me but when he wanted some space I freaked out at first & kept pressuring him for answers in which he was not in the position to at the time. The last I saw of him he was just so bummed out.

I love him a lot I just want to be there for him. I mean as of right now he's not a priority in my life. I miss him. But I'm doing my own thing. I talked to some people & they said this could take weeks & just act like it already is a breakup. :(

[talaniman]

I see this relationship as being rushed too fast, as neither of you is ready to live together, and I think moving in was a bad idea.

Maybe you can just date on occasion, and get your individual lives together. Less stress, less pressure, and plenty of space for you both to have time for yourselves.

Just something to think about moving forward, with him, or any one else you may get to fancy. You get a chance for fun, to learn each other under better circumstances, and won't depend on each other for a roof over your head. And you have plenty of room to grow.

[bunny222]

Yeah well I decided to move out for a month & I moved in with a friend just to clear my head & focus on myself. But I'm scared that he'll completely forget about me.
He hasn't contacted me in about a week in a half. I just want to text him & be like "hope youre doing well" or something small like that. I don't know if I should though. What do you guys think?

[amicon]

Stick to the no contact and leave things as they are. Take care of yourself and do your own thing.