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    Tree19's Avatar
    Tree19 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Oct 26, 2009, 05:50 PM
    What should I do about me and my ex-boyfriend's issue?
    Hello I'm a bit new to this so bear with me if I don't do it right lol,

    Well me and my ex had dated for about a year and things were up and down for us because of me living at home and dealing with my parents. To make a long story short we broke up due to "failer to communicate". I got to comfortable and thought he knew that I would be around to see him soon... I didn't talk to him about it just assumed he knew. Anyway he got really upset with me and we got into a heated argument about it. He didn't understand where I was coming from and vice versa. He got so mad that he went back to the his ex and got married! It broke my heart when he told me, 4 months after. While he was trying to get back at me by doing this he actually admitted he did it to get over me but it didn't work that way. He got drunk and came to my job one night and I wasn't there but a coworker told me. It took about a month before I got the courage to call him and ask if he was OK. He told me that he regrets what he has done and that he is really sorry. I was glad that he was hurt because he hurt me,but after I thought about it ii felt awful and tried to help him by telling him it was OK he just did what he had to do. Now let me say this I am so not a creep girl who preys on married men. No way is that me. He is my first real love and he and I still talk now. I told him that this is very wrong and I couldn't do it and he needed to choose who he wanted. I felt good about myself and decision upuntil I got up th enext morning and felt deep in my heart I made a mistake. So Now me and him still talk and I tell him I I don't like doing it this way but I love him and keep on.
    My Question is: Since our love is still there am I doing the right thing by telling him that ill wait for him and be here for him whenever he needs me and give him the space and time he needs to figure out what he wants?
    He really isn't a bad guy at all, he just hasn't had a very promising life and iunderstand him more since we broke up... I know that's bad but with that distance I could see him clearer. He is an unhappy person. I can see now that he needed me and not another problem. He isn't no saint though,lol, he put me through something's, but I know now were I went wrong.
    Also should I tell him how I see now where I went wrong and apologize for that? Do you guys think that will help make things clearer for us?

    Sorry for such a long story lol
    THANK ALL WHO HELP ME :)
    emopunk7's Avatar
    emopunk7 Posts: 1,052, Reputation: 161
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    #2

    Oct 26, 2009, 06:31 PM
    He is married... End of story.
    Tell him to contact you when he is divorced and the two of you can take it from there. Don't let him use you. He doesn't love or care for you if he married someone else. You can't see clearly with all the feelings in your mind and it's blocking your vision. You should just read what you wrote and ask yourself, why are you letting this happen.
    Gemini54's Avatar
    Gemini54 Posts: 2,871, Reputation: 1116
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    #3

    Oct 26, 2009, 06:51 PM
    Do people really have lives like this?

    Look, he doesn't sound as if he's good at commitment. First he breaks up with you and marries someone else out of spite after an argument (I repeat do people really behave like this? ), and now he's come running back to you because he can't cope with the responsibility of being married.

    You're a fool if you continue this charade. He's married. He's made his choice (wise or unwise) and now he has to deal with it. Stop mollycoddling him and telling him you'll wait for him forever.

    Let him deal with the consequences of his decisions. It's time for him to grow up, and he's not going to do that with you hovering in the background.

    Plus, what about his wife? Have you thought about her in all of this?

    Move on - waiting for this unhappy, unsettled, immature man will ruin your life.

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