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Cristy85 · Oct 26, 2009, 05:48 PM

My boyfriend of 5 years has been a meth addict since I meet him. We have a beautiful daughter together. Life is good when he is home and sober. He is home for the week, but once the weekend hits he’s no where to be seen, and if he does come home he's high. I finally got fed up with his 4 days home and 3 days gone, so I told him its either the streets or rehab and if he chooses rehab we could work on things. Well his month of rehab is almost over and now he tells me he does not want to come back right away because he is afraid he will fall into it again. So they suggested sober living for another 3 months. Now, he asks me to move with him because the temptations here are too much and its too easy to fall into that life style again. I told him this is where my home is, I can't move. I don’t want to put my daughter and I in a situation I’m unsure about. So he told me now since I’m not going to be moving with him he is going to move any way when he gets out of sober living. I don’t know what to do. I do love him, but my gut feeling says its not a good idea. What to do?

rockie100 · Oct 26, 2009, 06:17 PM

Its very true, that if he were to come back to the same friends and associates, he could easily slip. Talk to him after he has finished his rehab and or any other obligations. He should know, by this point, to take things one day at a time. He is projecting, and he shouldn't be. Don't uproot yourself, this is something he has to deal/work at. This is a real tuff drug to kick. I wish him luck. You take care too.

I wish · Oct 26, 2009, 06:23 PM

That's a very tough situation. You're going to have to act in the best interest of your daughter. Sounds like he's taking responsibility for his own actions. He admits that there's a chance that he will fall back into the same trap if he came home to you. Maybe when he's completely sober he will have the will power to actually come home to you. But you got to do what you got to do. Don't compromise your daughter for anything.

talaniman · Oct 26, 2009, 06:32 PM

I say give him a chance to conquer his demons on his own, without you. Have you sought help and console for yourself, as a self help group can be good for you to.

Gemini54 · Oct 26, 2009, 06:39 PM

Five years is along time to be addicted to Meth. If you really want the relationship to continue then you may have to compromise. He's telling you that he can't live where you currently are because he'll fall into the same trap again. This sounds reasonable and he's being honest with you.

Moving to a new place and starting again may be what you all need. Home is where the heart is. My parents moved from Italy to Australia to make a better life for themselves. Many people do it and perhaps you don't need to be as far away from 'home' as what my parents were!

Do you love each other enough to face this adventure together? Do you want your BF to be part of your daughter's life? Change is always scary, but eventually your daughter will adjust and so will you - who knows what good things may come of it?

Devorameira · Oct 27, 2009, 10:07 AM

Meth is a horrible thing to overcome. It has ruined way too many lives. I think you need to distance yourself a little, especially with having a daughter who doesn't need esposed to anything ugly. He is definitely going to have to conquer this on his own, but you can still support him long distance. I don't want to sound discouraging, but most meth addicts relapse several times and many never get clean - you don't want that in your daughter's life, so keep your eyes wide open.