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cassandrita · Sep 15, 2009, 08:16 PM

Hello,

I have been dating this guy for the past 2 years. It wasn't the ideal at all. I finally found the courage to say I had enough last march. We took contact again by may and started seeing each other for casual sex. Then by July I tell my ex that I'm seeing someone else and that I won't be able to see him anymore. He got so mad an angry about it. It was a constant battle everyday with the phone calls and insults. Telling me he hates then calls back says he is sorry and that he loves me and that he will miss me. After a few weeks he decides to move to Italie, his native country and he tells me he hopes to bring back with him a true Black italian woman ( I am mulatto myself). Seems like whatever he does or tries to say is to get back at me or make me mad, but I never react to his games. He leaves for a few weeks comes back and wants to see me... We realize how much we miss each other and still desire one another, but the problem is now I'm I have a new boyfriend who treats me perfectly. He is amazing to me but when I am with him I still think about my ex and I hate that!! My ex will be back soon from italia and he says he wants me back for good. I still have feelings for him, but I'm not sure if he can make me happy. Im stuck between my ex and my current boyfriend?

rockie100 · Sep 15, 2009, 08:47 PM

I think the reason you feel stuck, or even go as far as to think about this guy, is that you never ended it with him. Ended it like you should have. If you would have had no extra tagged on relationship with him, you would have had the time you needed to learn some self worth. Time you could have used to be able to appreciate anyone new. I think its best to take a brake from dateing for a while. Stop seeing or talking to the ex for sure. He sounds toxic.

ohsohappy · Sep 15, 2009, 08:53 PM

Change your number and everything if you need to, if this new boyfriend treats you perfectly, then don't mess it up for a guy who does not love or respect you. Get rid of him.

Gemini54 · Sep 15, 2009, 11:17 PM

Stop playing games. You can't have your cake and eat it to.

The Ex sounds like an idiot ( a true black Italian woman? ) and, don't kid yourself, you are reacting to his games. He's feeding your ego and keeping you on a string, and you're loving it.

I suggest you make a choice and put everyone out of their misery.

kctiger · Sep 16, 2009, 05:38 AM

I suggest you leave both guys alone. You need time to get over your ex and you can't date someone while trying to get over someone else, it doesn't work that way. Bringing baggage into another relationship is a pretty poor start to it.

You ever thought about being single for awhile? Truly single, not "casual sex" single?

I wish · Sep 16, 2009, 06:14 AM

There are two guys here:

1) Your ex. He obviously still has feelings for you. But you have to decide how you really feel about him.

1a) If you still have feelings for him, then you need to break up with your current boyfriend and sort out your feelings first.

1b) If you're over your ex, then you really need to cut contact with him. The more you talk to him, the more confused the two of you are going to be. Stop responding to his attempts to contact you, as it will give him false hope and he will just continue to contact you non-stop.

2) Your current boyfriend. You're obviously not completely over your ex yet. So it's time to distance yourself from your current boyfriend because it's not fair to him. You should either break up with him or ask him for space, so that you can figure out what you really want. Otherwise, you're just leading him on and it's not fair to him at all.